Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is universally acknowledged that money, nowadays, is top priority in every human-being's life. It can lead to the self-fulfillment and desire to achieve our dreams. However, up to some extent , I concur that money can be the medium of being happy, but not completely. Other aspects, therefor, should be undermined to being happy.

On the one hand, it has been observed that the global economy has emerged, which, albeit, ameliorated the living standards of individuals. Comparatively, if we noticed in the earlier period, people were hardly afford food for a day, but now it becomes possible due to the industrialization. The main point is that due to emerging economy, the citizens are enjoying luxurious lifestyles in terms of having car, well-equipped houses, classy products and so on. Such consumerism goods tend to bring contentment on individual's life. It can be seen, to exemplify, that the lifespans of people have been extended as they are equipped with all the amenities. In consequence, they are more healthier and happier than ever before.

On the other hand, as we discussed the aforementioned benefits of having handsome amount, the other activities which brings out extreme happiness. I, although, believe that instead of being affluent, the rich people are facing life-threatening issues due to depression and anxiety. Hence, it is justified that people should focus on their well-being as well as personal life because if they are not healthy from inside. It may not be in case of being happy.

To recapitulate, after careful consideration of the above opinion, I contend that balanced approach should be accounted to deal with the emergence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that influence it. The position is clear, though the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The explanation of how money brings happiness through consumerism is logical, but the second body paragraph regarding non-monetary happiness is less developed and slightly confusing in its phrasing. While the main points are relevant, the argument could be strengthened by providing more specific examples beyond general statements about 'well-being' and 'anxiety'. Overall, the response covers the requirements of the task sufficiently to meet the criteria for a band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are used incorrectly or awkwardly, such as 'Other aspects, therefor, should be undermined to being happy' (where 'undermined' is likely a misuse of 'considered'). Additionally, some sentences lack smooth flow, making the progression of ideas feel slightly mechanical at times. Despite these issues, the overall structure is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at more sophisticated language like 'ameliorated', 'consumerism', and 'affluent'. However, there are several instances of word choice errors or awkward collocations that hinder precision. For example, 'undermined' is used incorrectly in the introduction, and 'handsome amount' is an informal way to refer to wealth. There are also minor errors in word formation, such as 'more healthier'. While the range is sufficient to convey meaning, the lack of precision and occasional misuse of vocabulary prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with articles ('the global economy', 'the citizens'), preposition usage, and sentence fragments ('It may not be in case of being happy'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement around transition words. Although these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede the reader's ability to understand the main points. The control of grammar is sufficient for a band 6.0, as the errors do not cause significant confusion.

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