Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Having financial freedom has become every individual's dream in this contemporary era. It is considered by a handful of people that excessive amount of money is the major cause that leads to a satisfactory life. To some extent, I believe money is a prominent necessity of life in these days, however, there are other things that makes life happier too.

Firstly, it is undeniable that money can give people access to their luxurious lifestyle. Having financial freedom makes people's Individuals can utilize their finances by expending it wisely to secure their future. For instance, students come for their higher studies in Western nations such as Canada, USA and so on. If they have a significant amount of money to spend on their education for overseas studies, they can build a sustainable future for themselves and their families. Consequently, having enough finances could help you to get better job opportunities after studying from overseas universities. Hence, money leads to happiness.

However, there are several other reasons for person to be happy apart from having a bunch of money. First and foremost is gratefulness. If people get satisfied of whatever they have rather than showing off to the society would be commendable. Moreover, when individuals have high quality sleep, food, education and a supportive family. They do not require a lot of money to enjoy their lives. For example, there was king, a heir of his ancestor's territory, full of proud. When he got sick nobody helped him not even his own money. And there was a beggar, when he got sick, his family made every possible effort to get him treated.

To recapitulate, although money is the major need of life in this competitive era, other values such as family' love should not be ignored. If a person has a lot of money, they should know to expend it wisely rather than using it extravagantly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to a fulfilling life. The position is clear throughout. The ideas are relevant, though the development is somewhat uneven. For example, the explanation of how money leads to happiness via education is logical, but the anecdote about the king and the beggar is a bit simplistic and lacks the depth required for a higher band. To improve, ensure that examples are more analytical and directly linked to the broader concept of happiness rather than relying on narrative storytelling.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'However', and 'To recapitulate' are used to guide the reader. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as the sentence 'Having financial freedom makes people's Individuals can utilize their finances...', which contains a grammatical collision. Referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the discussion of money and the discussion of other values could be smoother to enhance the overall progression of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task. You use some good collocations like 'financial freedom', 'sustainable future', and 'competitive era'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'expending it' (spending is more natural) and 'full of proud' (should be 'full of pride'). The phrase 'a bunch of money' is too informal for an IELTS essay. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that word forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('other things that makes life happier') and awkward sentence construction ('If people get satisfied of whatever they have rather than showing off to the society would be commendable'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some sentence fragments and run-on sentences. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences and proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement will help improve your score in this criterion.

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