Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Money is essential to live in this world. Due to that, many individuals believe that having ample amount of money is a major reason behind happiness. There are many things which required money. However, genuine feeling and emotions are priceless.

People say money is not everything but it can buy everything. To begin with, it enhances purchasing power because there is no hesitation while buying something. For instance, if a person have tons of cash, then they can spend it recklessly without a second thought. Moreover, it helps to make good connection with the people who have very strong financial background like businessman. As a result, sometime they build very strong relation and they grow better. Furthermore, rich people are generally very confident in their life. Owing to that, they have great decision making skills and they work with different mindset than other person.

Alternatively, there are other things than money which makes people happy. Many people consider money as just a piece of paper to fulfill their basic need. Therefore, they are satisfied in their with very basic standards. Additionally, true relations like family and friends are not based on money since they are attached with each other with pure emotions. For example, many people feel relief by sharing their thoughts. Whereas, some rich person suffer with loneliness as they do not have anyone with them. Also, professional artist like painter, musician and many more are satisfied with their careers regardless of their income because they are not craved for money; they just want to give respect to their art.

In conclusion, as money makes everything possible but there are still other reasons alive to find happiness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors contribute to it. The ideas are relevant and clearly presented. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about 'stronger relations' with business people is a bit superficial and could be better explained. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your examples with more depth and ensure your position is more consistently developed throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'Alternatively', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Due to that' at the start of the second sentence. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'they grow better' where the antecedent for 'they' is ambiguous. Improving the flow between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'purchasing power', 'financial background', and 'recklessly'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'they are not craved for money' (should be 'they do not crave money') and 'reasons alive to find happiness' (which is non-idiomatic). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band. Focusing on more natural collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing will help improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('if a person have', 'some rich person suffer') and article usage ('professional artist' should be plural or have an article). While these errors are frequent, they do not generally impede communication. To improve, you should focus on subject-verb agreement and pluralization rules. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining accuracy will also help you move toward a higher band.

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