Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In today's world of inflation, some individual say that by gaining lot of money one can stay happy in life. But, there are lot of other things which provide happyness to people. In this eassay reasons of happyness related with money and other things will be discussed along with suitable conclusion.
Initiating with the happyness which is possible with lot of money. Firstly, individuals who have aboundance of funds can buy any thing by using their fund which will provide the feling of beuy happy. For example, a businessman buys a private jet for traveling it gives them feling of happy. Secondly with the use of money one would get acess to all the premium facilities provided by multinational companies which will help them to remain happy. Subsquently, one did not have to work physicaly for longer hours if have sufficent funds gives most of people feeling of happyness. Avalibility of materialistic thing also make people happy with the use of money.
On the other hand there are many other things or activities rather then money provide happyness to folks is by spending time with loved ones like family meambers, childrens and doing other leisure activities make one happy. Moreover, eating favourite food or wearing new cloths or going to a function provide happyness to people. In addition to this players feel happy when they win the match or competition, same for children by achiving good grades in exam make them most happy one. Last but not least, people who learn enough is enough and, downshift to enjoy life in true form make them happiest person in the world.
In conclusion, I think attaining large amount of money would provide happyness to some people. But being contentment with what they have is the ckey to happyness.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to happiness. The ideas are relevant, such as the ability to purchase luxury items or the importance of family and personal achievements. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of why money makes people happy relies on simple examples like buying a private jet, and the discussion on other factors is a list of ideas rather than a deep exploration. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your points with more detailed reasoning or nuanced examples to fully develop your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' to link your points. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. For example, the sentence 'Subsquently, one did not have to work physicaly for longer hours if have sufficent funds gives most of people feeling of happyness' is grammatically disjointed, which disrupts the flow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that sentences connect more naturally would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are frequent spelling errors such as 'happyness', 'eassay', 'aboundance', 'feling', 'beuy', 'acess', 'physicaly', 'sufficent', 'Avalibility', 'meambers', 'childrens', 'cloths', and 'ckey'. These errors are noticeable and detract from the professional quality of the writing. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'materialistic' and 'downshift', the range is limited. To improve, focus on mastering the spelling of common words and try to incorporate more precise collocations to express your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some individual say'), missing articles (e.g., 'by gaining lot of money'), and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'Initiating with the happyness which is possible with lot of money'). Punctuation is also inconsistent. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence structure and proofreading for basic errors will significantly improve your score.
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