Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It has been observed that there has been ongoing debate on whether having a lot of money is the important factor to make people happy or other factors are equally important for happiness. This essay will give answer for both questions with examples.

A lot of money can fulfill the individual's desires by enhancing a standard of living. To explain, people who have a more money can make branded purchase , and can travel abroad without thinking as they are able to spend more money as per their choice and in result they feel happy. For example, middle class person always think for spending money wisely as they have to survive their life with many responsibility in some amount of income, while a person who has a more money does not need to think before spending. Hence, a more money can give happiness by achieving their life goals which are related to standard of living.

On the other hand, other factors are equally important to make people happy, such as a mental health and healthy relationship. To expand, person who has a good relations with their friend and family feels more happiness as surrounding healthy atmosphere provides good vibes to stay happy. For instance, rich people have a lot money to fulfil their desire, but they may not be happy as they always stay in isolation with their busy routines and cannot able to spend their free time with their near ones and in result they become be more stressed. Therefore, having a good relation or spending time with friends and family is equally important to make people happy.

In conclusion, I believe that by a lot of money, people can be happy by enhancing their standard of living and fulfil their desire in short term, while other factors like mental health and having a good relations are important to stay stress free.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. Your position is clear throughout the essay. The ideas are relevant, though the development is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the explanation of money enhancing the standard of living is clear, but the example of the 'middle class person' versus the 'rich person' could be more nuanced to avoid over-generalisation. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are more specific and fully explored rather than relying on broad comparisons. Overall, you have fulfilled the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To explain', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the phrase 'in result they feel happy' or 'in result they become be more stressed'. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring they connect ideas more naturally would enhance the coherence. Paragraphing is used appropriately, which helps the reader follow your argument structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'standard of living', 'isolation', and 'atmosphere'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'make branded purchase' (should be 'make luxury purchases') and 'cannot able to' (a grammatical error affecting lexical precision). You rely on some repetitive phrasing, such as 'a lot of money' and 'make people happy'. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and collocations to express your ideas with greater precision and variety.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('a more money', 'a mental health') and verb forms ('cannot able to', 'they become be more stressed'). Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'it has been observed that there has been ongoing debate'. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will significantly improve your accuracy.

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