Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In this modern era, there are many people who are running behind money and thinks that it gives them happiness, while there are some other people who have other priorities which make them happy. In this essay, I am going to discuss both views, with my opinion.
On the one hand, there are many people who think money can give them happiness. Firstly, People think if they have a lot of money they can get whatever they want as well as they can go or travel anywhere, can also do anything they want can give them happiness as by having everything which people wants can give them inner satisfaction which make them happy.
On the other hand, there are many things apart from money, which can make people happy. First of all, there are many people, who can make themselves happy by roaming, visiting and playing with their friends as in this is the best way to stay stress-free. Also, by spending time with their loved-ones, family and friends can make them happy.
In my opinion, if people have money and they do not have any friend circle, then it is not a good way to stay happy because friends are important in life as people can spend their time, tell them their secrets, hang-out with them, which I think gives more satisfaction and happiness then having money only.
In conclusion, there are many people who believed that people can stay happy if they have a lot of money, while there are some other people who claims that there are many other factors responsible to make people happy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to happiness. The position is clear throughout, particularly in the opinion paragraph. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For example, the explanation of how money leads to happiness is circular, stating that 'having everything which people wants can give them inner satisfaction.' To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific, concrete examples—such as the ability to afford quality healthcare, education, or financial security—rather than general statements. The conclusion is also a bit brief and merely restates the prompt rather than synthesizing the main points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use basic cohesive devices like 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical. For instance, the second paragraph relies heavily on repetitive sentence structures ('People think if they have... can get... can go... can also do...'). The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'as in this is the best way' in the third paragraph, which lacks a clear antecedent. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on common, repetitive words like 'happy,' 'happiness,' and 'people.' While the meaning is always clear, there is little attempt to use less common or idiomatic vocabulary. Phrases like 'running behind money' are slightly unnatural; 'pursuing wealth' or 'chasing financial success' would be more appropriate. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations related to the topic of well-being and lifestyle, and avoid repeating the same basic adjectives throughout the essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, such as 'there are many people who is running' (should be 'are') and 'some other people who claims' (should be 'claim'). There are also issues with punctuation and sentence fragments, particularly in the second paragraph where a very long, run-on sentence makes the logic difficult to follow. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to limit the score. Focusing on proofreading for basic agreement and sentence boundaries will significantly improve your accuracy.
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