Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Money can buy happiness. In this contemporary world, earning money has become an indispensable part for people in order to become rich and successful. Therefore, some people believe that only a large amount of money can bring a feeling of contentment. However, having an ample amount of money is not the sole responsible asset behind happiness. Other things can also provide a greater level of gratification.

To commence with, in the recent years people are more inclining towards earning more and more amount of money as they feel that it would provide ecstasy. As by having plenty amount of capital, an individual can purchase anything they desire. For instance, people especially youngsters like to buy luxurious and exquisite items such as branded clothes, prominent cars, and using eminent mobile brands like Apple. Moreover, by splurging money people have craze to perform grandiose wedding for pomp and show. Not only that, people also like to travel internationally often if they have an abundant amount of cash. Individuals like materialistic living rather than feeling real and original joy.

In addition to, only money in life is not significant aspect. There are other vital things such as family, loved ones and friends. Apart from money aspects such as discipline, loyalty, solace of mind, manners, empathy and compassion brings sense profound satisfaction and tranquility. Those are also essential along with an appropriate amount of money in order to retain the perfect balance of life. For instance, an eminent entrepreneur Bill Gates, despite of being a billionaire, he got divorced. Therefore, only money does not bring joy and contentment.

To recapitulate, owning a satisfied quantity of money along with other pivotal characteristics would bring real happiness and it would also help to restore the balance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. The ideas are relevant and clearly presented. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the explanation of why people value money is a list of items rather than a deeper exploration of the psychological or social drivers. The second paragraph introduces valid points like family and empathy, but these could be expanded with more detailed examples to reach a higher band. The position is clear throughout, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'In addition to', which help guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, though some sentences within paragraphs could be linked more fluidly to improve the overall flow. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the progression of ideas from the role of money to other sources of happiness is logical and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. There are attempts to use less common items like 'indispensable', 'exquisite', 'grandiose', and 'tranquility'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'satisfied quantity of money' (should be 'sufficient') and 'people are more inclining towards' (should be 'inclined'). Some phrases like 'pomp and show' are slightly informal or non-standard in this context. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and natural collocation required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the recent years'), prepositions ('In addition to'), and subject-verb agreement ('he got divorced' following the subject 'Bill Gates'). There are also minor errors in sentence construction, such as 'as by having plenty amount of capital'. Despite these errors, the grammar does not impede communication. To improve, the student should focus on refining complex sentence structures and ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement and correct article usage.

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