Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
Some people believe that money can bring happiness in life. Money has become a widely debatable topic all across the world. This essay will discuss how money can cause happiness and what are the other sources apart from money which can lead to a happy life.
On the one hand, many people believe that money can make cause happiness. This is because people feel that they can buy anything with money which will eventually make them happy. Also, in this economy where majority are struggling to afford basic life necessities, money is the solution to their problems. People can experience true luxurious lifestyle and can buy anything they want. People will experience more financial freedom which can make their life easy and results in a happy life. Moreover, money can make people feel respected and elevated which will contribute to increasing self-confidence and mental health. Therefore, many people are inclined towards the thinking that money can bring happiness.
On the other hand, there are plenty of other things which can contribute towards a happy lifestyle. To start with, having a healthy body primarily affects happiness. The healthy body can ensure relaxed lifestyle which results in happy mind. In addition to that, staying near friends and family is also a major factor for happiness and having a supporting family will result in more happiness. Also, exercising and playing sports effects happiness levels. For instance, I was in depression for a year and my doctor suggested me to play sports because playing sports will release a happy hormone called oxytocin which will make human brain happy and relaxing.
To conclude, money can bring happiness in life as people can buy all the luxuries of the world and enjoy a stress free life. But there are other things as well which can contribute towards happy life like healthy body, staying near families and playing sports.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other sources of happiness. The ideas are relevant and clearly presented. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the explanation of how money brings respect and mental health is a bit generic and could be further extended with more specific reasoning or examples. Similarly, while the personal anecdote about sports is a good addition, the overall depth of the arguments remains at a basic level. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your points with more detailed analysis or nuanced examples rather than listing several points briefly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', 'To start with', and 'In addition to that' are used to guide the reader. However, some of the transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, though the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and subordinating conjunctions to create more complex relationships between ideas. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'financial freedom', 'luxurious lifestyle', and 'necessities'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'make cause happiness' (a redundant phrasing) and 'staying near friends' (which is slightly unnatural; 'spending time with' would be better). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. Expanding your use of collocations and more academic synonyms would significantly enhance your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. For instance, 'The healthy body can ensure relaxed lifestyle' lacks necessary articles, and 'my doctor suggested me to play sports' is grammatically incorrect (it should be 'suggested that I play' or 'suggested playing'). Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage throughout the text. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on article usage and verb patterns will help improve your accuracy.
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