Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
It is an irrefutable fact that in this unprecedented era, money has become an essential part of everyone's life. On the basis of that a few part of the society contend that having money gives a significant happiness in lives. There are several reasons behind this genre and other things as well which can make life more joyful. This essay will analyze the causes with relevant examples in the ensuing paragraphs.
To commence with, discussing the importance of having money in life, the first and foremost is a sense of satisfaction. It is often believed that wealthy people can buy personal possessions and things of daily living, which eventually improves life standards. To exemplify, one study conducted by the 'Social Standard Group' has shown that people with a large amount money are less likely to be prone to develop mental illness than people from deprived area. Moreover, a person should be able to accomplish the basic requirements in life such as shelter, qualitative healthcare services, food and fundamental education. Without these he or she can suffer from mental and physical diseases and would be unable to earn handsome salary in the future.
On the other hand, some individuals argue that there are other things which could make people happy. To illustrate further, there should be a sense of belonging, which is ultimately meant to refer a family. This is because if a person finds someone to expose his feelings, understandings, problems, and happiness, he could have a sense of security, because he would find someone to get support. Furthermore, people typically have cheerful life when they achieve their goals and dreams in life. This emotion possesses the greater value than monetary value.
In essence, although people find that money is only one thing to stay happy in life, so they can buy branded personal belongings, access the basic healthcare and educational facilities, there are paramount things in life which make life worth living such as family satisfaction, fulfillments and certain life achievements.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the role of money in achieving happiness and alternative sources of fulfillment. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed. For example, the explanation regarding the 'Social Standard Group' study provides a concrete justification for how money impacts mental health and living standards. The second body paragraph effectively contrasts this with non-monetary factors like family and personal goals. While the development is clear, some points, such as the mention of 'qualitative healthcare', could be slightly more nuanced to reach a higher band. Overall, the position is consistent and the task requirements are fully met.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', 'On the other hand', and 'In essence' are used effectively to guide the reader through the argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. However, there are minor issues with referencing and flow; for instance, the phrase 'behind this genre' in the introduction is slightly awkward and does not clearly refer back to the previous sentence. Despite these minor mechanical issues, the progression of ideas remains clear throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate and allows for clear communication. The student attempts to use some less common items like 'unprecedented', 'irrefutable', and 'paramount'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'gives a significant happiness' (should be 'brings significant happiness') and 'cheerful life' (should be 'a happy life' or 'a sense of cheer'). The phrase 'expose his feelings' is also slightly unnatural in this context; 'express' would be more appropriate. While the range is sufficient for the task, these minor errors prevent a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'a few part of the society' (should be 'a small part of society'), 'large amount money' (missing 'of'), and 'deprived area' (should be 'deprived areas'). Additionally, the sentence 'although people find that money is only one thing to stay happy in life, so they can buy...' is structurally confused due to the misuse of the conjunction 'so'. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede the overall meaning of the essay, and the student shows a reasonable command of complex sentence construction.
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