Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Most of the pupils believe that having a large amount of money makes them happy. In this essay we will discuss how other factors are also important in life rather than wealth.
However, having enough savings are one of the major aspect of the life.
People say 'Money can buy happiness' at some point it is right. For instance, if the person wants to travel somewhere with his or her family they are not able to even take a transit if they do not have money. On the other hand, if the person have money they can even travel to moon which give them a lot of happiness and unforgetable memories for the entire life or you can buy anything you want in your life with that money that also increase your cortisol once which helps to make you happy than others.
But, Wealth is not everything for everyone. health is also important as wealth in the person life. For example, if the person is not willing to walk or have any serious illness but have a lot of money in his bank account. Then, he is not happy at all as he is not able to enjoy any of the moments of his life. Taking care of your body is at top list before money. If your body is healthy ypu can earn money by doing any job to fullfil your needs and wants that also makes you happy.
According to me, Everyone should start taking care of your body so you can live healthy lifestyle. which, make the person happy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to happiness. The ideas are relevant, such as the ability to travel and the importance of health. However, the development is somewhat limited. The explanation regarding 'cortisol' is scientifically inaccurate and confusing, which weakens the argument. The conclusion is brief and lacks a summary of the main points. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your examples with more depth and ensure your reasoning is logical and clear throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or awkward. For example, the transition 'On the other hand' is used, but the connection between the ideas within the paragraph is occasionally disjointed. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the shift between 'the person', 'he', and 'you' within the same paragraph. Improving the flow between sentences and using a wider variety of linking words would help create a more professional and cohesive argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are some awkward collocations, such as 'major aspect of the life' and 'at top list'. The attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary like 'cortisol' is undermined by the incorrect context. To improve, focus on using more natural collocations and academic vocabulary. Avoid informal phrasing like 'According to me' and instead use more formal alternatives like 'In my opinion' or 'From my perspective'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('having enough savings are', 'if the person have money'), article usage ('travel to moon'), and punctuation errors. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic errors like pluralisation and verb conjugation to ensure your writing is more accurate.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.