Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is certainly true that money can buy everything in their life whatever they want to buy. it is said by some people, where as other said other things could make you happy. I will discuss both the views and give conclusion.

on the money side, it gives you the financial stability and security. Financial Security and reduced stress wealth provides a safety net against unforeseen emergencies, such as medical bills or job loss. other one, access to quality of Life and Opportunities money allows individuals to afford better healthcare, superior education for their children, and comfortable living conditions. Freedom of Choice and Autonomy being wealthy means having the liberty to choose how to spend one's time—whether through leisure, travel, or pursuing passions rather than working out of sheer necessity.

Other factors in life that contribute to happiness fulfilling Relationships and Social Connection strong bonds with family, friends, and a sense of community are consistently linked to long-term psychological well-being.Another one, personal Growth and Purpose (Self-Actualization) engaging in meaningful work, hobbies, or continuous learning provides a sense of achievement and self-worth that material possessions cannot buy. Physical and Mental Health good health serves as the foundation for enjoying daily life, regardless of one's bank balance.

In the conclusion, the people can buy the things which are materialistic things not the emotional things which gives them happiness such as family, friends and relatives. the memories you create with them and the cheerful memories you can not expect from materialistic items. So people should buy from items not in the form of an emotional way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. The ideas are relevant and logically grouped. However, the development is somewhat list-like, particularly in the body paragraphs where points are presented as headings rather than fully integrated into cohesive sentences. While the position is clear, the conclusion is slightly repetitive and lacks a strong final synthesis of the two sides discussed. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is expanded with a specific example or a more detailed explanation of the underlying reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical. For instance, phrases like 'other one' and 'another one' are used repetitively and do not always flow naturally. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. While the progression of ideas is logical, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the reliance on bullet-point style formatting within paragraphs detract from the overall flow. Improving the use of transition signals would significantly enhance the coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to convey their ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary such as 'financial stability,' 'autonomy,' and 'self-actualization.' However, there are some awkward phrasings, such as 'on the money side' and 'buy from items not in the form of an emotional way,' which indicate a lack of precision. The range is sufficient to communicate, but it lacks the flexibility and natural collocation required for higher bands. Expanding the use of more precise academic collocations would improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout, such as 'where as other said other things' (tense and article usage) and 'the people can buy the things which are materialistic things' (redundancy). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing spaces after periods and incorrect capitalization. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, the student should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with greater accuracy.

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