Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Money plays a significant role in the lives of humans. Having a huge amount of finance is the predominant way of happiness that is considred by some echelons. This essay will give the explaination how money provide prosperity as well as what other things brings happiness for individuals.

To commence with, there are numerous factors of having high proportion of money leads happiness. The first and foremost one is easy access of getting higher education. To be precise, people do not need to confront the finance issue to pay large sums of tution fee and it is easy for rich people to charge the other expenses for education, which helps to pay attention on education. As a result, after completing high level of studies, people achieve more opportunities in international companies to obtain jobs that gives them pleasure. Another factor, being a part of contemporay era, people always have desire to buy trendy and updated things. For example, buying apple phone, luxuorious cars gives people more contenment, which is possible because of a vast amount of money.

Furthermore, there are some other things that associated with happiness. The most important one is having the strong relationship with family with friends and family. In other words, by spending precious moments with lover ones cannot be replacted with money. Polite behavious, good communication are the fundamential factors for satisfaction. Finally, having talent of someting can give happiness that helps to compete with rivals. For example, a person , who has the talent of playing, singing can assist to make the future bright.

In conclusion, although money give happiness by fullfing basic needs, other factor cannot be neglecged

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. The ideas are relevant and clearly presented. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of how money facilitates education is logical but could be expanded with more nuanced examples. Similarly, the section on relationships and talent is a bit brief. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully explored with more depth and specific, illustrative examples. The position is clear throughout, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the awkward phrasing in the second paragraph regarding 'charge the other expenses'. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, though the connection between sentences could be smoother in places.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'predominant', 'contemporary', and 'echelons', though some are used slightly inaccurately (e.g., 'echelons' is not the best fit here). There are also several spelling errors, such as 'considred', 'explaination', 'tution', 'luxuorious', 'contenment', and 'behavious'. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Expanding the range of collocations and focusing on precise word choice would improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence construction (e.g., 'money provide prosperity', 'there are numerous factors of having high proportion of money leads happiness'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing commas and awkward phrasing. The errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text, though they rarely prevent the reader from understanding the intended message. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and refining complex sentence structures.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.