Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people argue that the main reason behind happiness to our daily lives is to acquire abundance of funds. There are several reasons why people are happy when they have financial security. However, I believe that money always cannot buy happiness, it sometimes depend on other causes too.

To begin with, one of the main reasons behind this satisfaction is financial freedom. Having a lot of money can make people happy by reducing stress and anxiety over basic survival needs such as rent, food and medical care. It offers individual to live stress-free and heathy lifestyle, which can improve overall health and mental well-being. In addition, In addition, children from these families can receive a better education from recognized schools, which not only provides academic opportunities but also helps them succeed in their professional journey. For instance, wealthier families think about how to get successful in life without stressing about money. Therefore, having stability can improve chances of success.

On the other hand, I believe that many simple habits and spending time with their loved ones can also bring people joy. One of the main reasons is to do regular exercise. Moving your body for just 10 minutes releases good brain chemicals like endorphins and dopamine to boost your mood. As a result, it improves concentration and work efficiency, which can eventually lead to happiness if we perform better at work. Furthermore,

In conclusion, although having lot of money can bring flexibility and can make people's life much easier, I believe that workouts and social relationship also important role in happiness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to joy. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The second paragraph provides clear points regarding financial security, but the third paragraph is underdeveloped and ends abruptly with an incomplete sentence. The conclusion is also quite brief. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that every point is fully supported with a clear example or explanation, and avoid leaving sentences unfinished, as this impacts the overall completeness of your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'In addition', and 'On the other hand'. However, the flow is interrupted by the incomplete sentence at the end of the third paragraph. Additionally, there is a repetitive error in the second paragraph ('In addition, In addition'), which suggests a lack of careful proofreading. While the progression of ideas is generally logical, the mechanical nature of some transitions and the abrupt ending of the third paragraph prevent a higher score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'financial security', 'mental well-being', and 'professional journey'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'acquire abundance of funds' (better: 'accumulate significant wealth') and 'do regular exercise' (better: 'engage in regular exercise'). The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Focusing on more natural collocations will help improve your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully use some complex sentences, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'money always cannot buy' (word order), 'it sometimes depend' (subject-verb agreement), and 'offers individual to live' (missing article/pronoun). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the incomplete sentence in the third paragraph is a significant error. You should aim to proofread your work to catch these minor errors and ensure that your complex structures are grammatically sound.

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