Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this modern era, Individuals are focusing on money rather than anything else in their lives they believe that money can buy happiness in their lives which can be right somehow , but there are numerous things which can make citizens happy , this essay will explain it in detail.

First and foremost is , now a days people are focusing on the brands for every individual items such as makeup , jewellery, purses and up to many more this luxury items cost them almost a fortune without money this can not be possible to purchase let me be clear with example, Prada, Louis Phillip , Versace , Huda beauty , Birkin purses these all are the most expensive brands if they have the money then it will be the easiest thing for them to buy it and without money this is not possible However , some people finds happiness in these all things to maintain their status in the society.

On the other side there are several things which can make individuals happy such as travelling , spending time with family , physical activity and having good meal can also make individuals happy on the top of that it is also depends on the individual believes that some of them have millions in their accounts but they are not happy the ore they have the more they want and some of them are satisfied with their job and all the necessity things that people want to live life happy.

In my conclusion , I would like to mention that money is important for people but sometimes they become so greedy about money that they forget there are numerous things in the world is important rather than money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other sources of happiness. The ideas are relevant, such as the role of luxury brands in social status and the importance of non-material factors like family and travel. However, the development is somewhat superficial. The explanation of why money brings happiness is limited to a list of brands, and the discussion of other factors is brief. To reach a higher band, you should provide more depth in your reasoning—for example, explaining the psychological link between status and happiness or the long-term benefits of social connections versus the fleeting nature of material consumption.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices like 'First and foremost', 'However', and 'On the other side'. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by punctuation errors, such as the misuse of commas (e.g., 'First and foremost is , now a days'). Additionally, some sentences are run-on or lack clear transitions, making the progression feel slightly mechanical. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your punctuation supports the logical flow of your arguments rather than interrupting them.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'luxury items', 'status', and 'necessity'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'individual items' instead of 'consumer goods' and 'the ore they have' (likely a typo for 'the more'). The repetition of 'make individuals happy' throughout the text limits your score. To improve, try to use synonyms and more precise collocations. For example, instead of repeating 'make happy', you could use 'contribute to one's well-being', 'foster contentment', or 'enhance life satisfaction'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some people finds happiness'), missing articles, and run-on sentences. For instance, the first paragraph is a single long sentence that lacks proper punctuation. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the text from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms and sentence boundaries, to ensure your writing is more polished and professional.

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