Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In today's world, most of the individual believe that money is the only source of happiness. I agree that money can provide financail stability and more opportunities in life but a good family relationship and friendship is the greatest way to be happy.

Money plays a essential roles in everyones life. To buy basic stuff or fulfill their need a person need cash. In addition, a person with good financial stability can achieve what they want in life and have better opportunities. For example, if somebody have alot of money they can fulfill their dream to travel abroad or can book their vacation where they prefer, like Italy, USA, France etc. As result, when a person fulfill their needs and dreams with the money they feel happy.

Money is not the only source of happiness. A person who have a good relationship with their family or healthy friendship is also very happy in his life. Furthermore, parents spent their presious time with their children. They talk to eachother so that they can understand well about them. For instance, a person who hangout every week and gave time to their family is , the most happiest one. The reason behind this is when they see their loved ones happy and close to them they feel a inner joy. Consequently, spending time with family and friend also gives happines just like money.

In conclusion, while many people think money is the only reason behind happiness but i beleive a healthy relationship with friends and family is also a equal reason for happiness like money

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to happiness. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat basic. For instance, the explanation of why money leads to happiness is limited to travel and basic needs, and the section on family relationships could be more deeply explored with more specific examples. While the task is fully addressed, the supporting arguments lack the depth and nuance required for a higher band score. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and could have been used to synthesize the points more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Furthermore', and 'Consequently' are used to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. There are also minor issues with referencing and flow; for example, the sentence 'For instance, a person who hangout every week and gave time to their family is , the most happiest one' is slightly disjointed. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, but the management of cohesion could be more sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'financial stability' and 'inner joy'. However, there are several spelling errors ('financail', 'presious', 'happines', 'beleive') and some awkward collocations ('most happiest', 'a equal reason'). The range of vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the message, but the frequent spelling mistakes and limited variety in word choice prevent a higher score. Improving accuracy in spelling and using more precise synonyms would enhance the lexical quality.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('most of the individual believe', 'a person need cash', 'somebody have') and verb tense consistency ('parents spent their presious time'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas and missing articles. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, the student should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent verb tenses throughout the essay.

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