Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that money is the utmost priority in ones life and the only way to get happy in life is to have a lot of money. However, there are some other ways too that are part of the life which supports the happiness equally. I will discuss both on this point and give my opinions and illustrate with an example.

To begin with, money is everything. From dealing with poverty or to live life lavishly the only thing that matter is money. You can buy anything in this world that will give you joy with money. This is mainly because no matter you are dealing with any health issue, mood swings, breakup, relations and stress. In other words, the way to cope up with all these problems is money. For example : If you dealing with any court cases the percentage of winning the case depends upon the lawyer. Therefore it is clear that, with the help of money hire the most professional lawyer and all the case will be in your favor.

Another point is that there are other valuable things too that is above the money. All the intangible feelings cannot be rented or bought with money. This is because if a person is feeling helpless he/she will probably require the emotional support rather than spending or receiving money. As a result money will not solve deal with nay other solution. For instance: The man lost his mother. Is there any way she can come back. The answer to the question will be no. Consequently, Sometimes there is a lot more than money than just money.

To conclude, the points discussed above demonstrate that every thing in this world can be bought with money but when we talk about some emotions, it will be stupid to rely on money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money brings happiness and what other factors contribute to it. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. The argument that 'money is everything' is presented as a blanket statement without nuanced exploration, and the example regarding court cases is slightly simplistic. The second body paragraph attempts to discuss intangible factors but lacks depth in explaining why these are superior to material wealth. To improve, you should aim to provide more sophisticated reasoning and clearer examples that demonstrate a deeper understanding of the relationship between wealth and well-being, rather than relying on absolute statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'In other words,' and 'To conclude.' However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the logical progression is slightly disjointed, such as the transition between the discussion of health issues and the example of court cases. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as the phrase 'the way to cope up with all these problems is money,' which follows a list of diverse issues that money cannot necessarily solve. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You use some repetitive phrasing, such as 'money is everything' and 'in life,' which limits the sophistication of your writing. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'solve deal with nay other solution' and 'the way to cope up with.' To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more varied vocabulary, such as synonyms for 'money' (e.g., financial resources, material wealth) and more precise verbs and adjectives to describe emotional states and societal concepts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Examples include 'the only way to get happy in life' (should be 'achieve happiness'), 'no matter you are dealing with' (should be 'regardless of whether you are dealing with'), and 'there is a lot more than money than just money.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of colons and commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will be beneficial.

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