Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. This is a 80/100 percent fact in the reality and understanding of the universe as the perception has been.

Firstly, looking at the scale of preference when it comes to human need, it is all about basic needs including food, shelter, utilities, comfort etc. lets narrow it to not having a lot of money but at least having money is the only foundation through which those basic needs can be attained. Basically, without money, attending to those needs will be as good as chasing ghost to some families, and societies at large. At this juncture having solve basic needs brought happiness to the person or individual in question.

Here, looking at having a lots of money seems like the gateway to the earthly impossible and that today appears to be the main aim of why people crave to have lots of money. Money, they said does it all, and here we should not be forgetting the saying on the mystery of money making tables turn round. Majority of people became happy having gotten to wherever they want to be in life and the only possible means through which it happen is because they have money. Lots of dreams and unrealised aim would not have been possible without money.

Comfort, this goes in pari passu with lots of money any the secret comes happiness. Power equally they said revolves around who has lots of money.

In other words we should not completely forgot that 20 percent on happiness does not revolves around money, but differently has its own end.

conclusively, money makes people happy because most of the thing that keeps life comfortably moving revolves around money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing how money facilitates basic needs and comfort, and briefly acknowledging that other factors contribute to happiness. However, the development is inconsistent. The argument regarding 'basic needs' is clear, but the second part of the prompt—what other things make people happy—is addressed very vaguely in the final paragraph without specific examples or elaboration. The ideas are somewhat repetitive, and the position is not fully developed or supported with concrete evidence, which limits the depth of the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'In other words', these are often used incorrectly or in a way that does not effectively link ideas. The progression of thought is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the second and third paragraphs, where the connection between money, power, and happiness becomes muddled. Paragraphing is present but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward collocations and non-standard phrasing, such as 'chasing ghost', 'earthly impossible', and 'in pari passu'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the lack of sophisticated or precise vocabulary prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. The repetition of the word 'money' throughout the text also highlights a limited range of lexical resources to express related concepts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'having solve basic needs'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'the only possible means through which it happen is because they have money'). Punctuation is also inconsistent. While the errors do not completely obscure the meaning, they are frequent enough to be a noticeable distraction throughout the text.

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