Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In this contemporary epoch, everything is expensive. In which several people argues that to stay happy in life you need to have sufficient bank balance. In following paragraphs, I will discussed that both side. In which I will cover, how money can help you to stay happy where as there are few important things which can not buy with money.
On the on hand, money is vital essential to live good lifestyle. With the help of money you can buy items which can increase your comfort zones. For instance, houses with all eminities, gardens. In bank if you holding good balance then you can go for world tour in which you can discover different culture and enjoy their lifestyle, local cusines.
On the other hand, there are few things which can not be purchased you have to gain. For instance respect. For some individuals when they are getting respects from society, it make them feel proud, which provide inner happiness. Further on, being healthy is also part of happiness. If you are staying sick or if you holding any disabilities you want able to leave normal life. At that point if you holding billions of dollar then again it will not bring smile on your face! Not only that but in many cases lots of money also invite some other troubles. They are not able to leave normal life due to their life risk. For instance Sachin Tendulkar, he can not eat in restaurant the way normal people can do.
To sum up, in my personal respective, although money is required to live good lifestyle, can not bring happiness in all time. If you are blind then money will not help you to see the beauty of world.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to happiness. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of comfort and travel for money, and respect and health for non-monetary factors. However, the development is somewhat limited. The explanation of why money brings happiness is brief, and the discussion on non-monetary factors could be more deeply explored to reach a higher band. The position is clear, but the overall structure of the argument lacks the depth required for a higher score. The response is a solid attempt that covers all requirements of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'In following paragraphs, I will discussed that both side' and 'On the on hand'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, which limits the effectiveness of the cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision needed for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'contemporary epoch', 'eminities' (amenities), 'cusines' (cuisines), and 'personal respective' (perspective). While the meaning is generally clear, the student struggles with collocations and spelling. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main points, but the frequent errors in word choice and spelling prevent a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('several people argues'), incorrect verb forms ('I will discussed'), and missing articles or prepositions. Some sentences are structurally weak, such as 'If you are staying sick or if you holding any disabilities you want able to leave normal life.' These errors are noticeable and occasionally cause the reader to pause, although they do not completely impede communication. A greater focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading is necessary.
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