Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

A few individuals believe that an important way to be joyful in life is to have a lot of money. It is an essential aspect of human life. To support our family with basic need, money is crucial. But there are also some other ways to remain over the moon in life.

Having an enormous amount of money can make people happy in different ways. If a person holds a lot of funds, they can afford anything they want in life. For example, big house, sports car, enormous property and many more. Another thing is unlimited travel. They will never have to worry about the expenses they are spending on travel. Furthermore, some people also believe that money shows status. For instance, more money means more respect in the society. With such person everyone wants to be friends.

Now I would like to talk about some other things instead of money that can make a person walking on air. Firstly, human relationship is the most important thing, that can make an individual happy in their life. I will elaborate on this view with an example. If citizen are having a healthy relationship with their loved ones, money does not matter to them. Because I believe love is also a currency. One must earn good relation with others in order to be happy in life. There are also some other ways in which individuals can enjoy their living like playing outdoor games, tracking on mountains, swimming, spending time in nature and many other.

All in all, in my opinion, money is not the only thing that can make people joyful in their life. There are also some individuals that has a lot of funds but they are not happily living. Hence, for me, spending time in nature and with family is always counted as the best way to live a happy life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of how money provides status is brief, and the examples provided (e.g., 'big house', 'sports car') are quite generic. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the 'why' and 'how' behind your arguments with more nuanced reasoning. While the response is relevant and covers all parts of the task, the depth of analysis is limited, which is characteristic of a Band 6.0 performance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. There is a logical progression from the role of money to alternative sources of happiness. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', and 'All in all' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as in the sentence 'With such person everyone wants to be friends.' Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including some idiomatic expressions like 'over the moon' and 'walking on air'. However, the usage of these idioms is slightly informal for an IELTS essay. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'tracking on mountains' (likely meaning 'trekking') and 'earning good relation'. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score. Expanding your range to include more academic or topic-specific collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('some individuals that has a lot of funds') and article usage ('If citizen are having'). Additionally, some sentence constructions are slightly awkward, such as 'To support our family with basic need'. These errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and diversifying your complex sentence structures will help improve this score.

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