Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There are 2 different kinds of people first who says that money brings happiness in life while other people thinks there are other tings which brings happiness instead of money. Here it clearly explains how people have different mindsets or different perspective like give importnace to different aspects of life where family and friends brings joy to them where they feel achieved, and same happenies is experiences by other people who achieve goals through business point of view.

People who were financially not stable understood the process of increasing their income thorugh business and are able to purchase the things which they never dreamt about makes them feel successful which satisfies them, onces that level is achieved they feel satisfied, for example they start travelling exotic places through business class flights or purchasing a yatch to travel through seas. In some situations they are able to donate huge amounts for donations or raising funds for poor and needy people. This kind of achievements makes some people happy.

On the other hand people who say health is happiness so they can spend time with their family rather than purchasing something, because purchasing expensive things does not bring happiness to them. For example, spending a quality time with your family and friends, thourgh playing sports game with kids, going to the gym which helps you achieve strenght. So achieving this kinds of goals brings satisfaction in their lif. This kind of different levels of achivements improves their mental health as well.

In conclusion, both of them are achiveing happiness at the end some of them thorugh money by securing life though financial aspects and others through having a quality time with their family and other personal fulfilment like daily exercise and eating healthy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money brings happiness and other sources of happiness. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. The arguments regarding money are repetitive, focusing mainly on purchasing power, and the section on non-monetary happiness lacks depth. The introduction is quite weak and does not clearly state a position or outline the essay's scope. While the response is relevant, the ideas are not fully extended or supported with specific, nuanced examples, which limits the score to a 5.5. To improve, you should aim to provide more detailed explanations and clearer links between your examples and the broader concept of happiness.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical or inaccurate, such as the repetitive use of 'this kind of' or 'these kinds of'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track the subject matter between sentences. The transition between the two main body paragraphs is abrupt. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that flows logically from the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'tings' (things), 'same happenies is experiences' (same happiness is experienced), and 'yatch' (yacht). The vocabulary is generally repetitive, and there is little attempt to use less common lexical items or idiomatic expressions. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequent spelling and collocation errors prevent the response from reaching a higher level. Expanding your vocabulary through reading and focusing on correct word forms will be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'other people thinks'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with run-on sentences that lack proper conjunctions or full stops. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be distracting. To improve, you should practice proofreading your work to catch basic errors and work on constructing more complex sentences with accurate punctuation and verb forms.

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