Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Phenomena,there are many people believe them taken in life lot of money they may good for happy in life.While having lot of money of humans then they buy multifarious items and another thinks many optimistic less money they are provide without money got several happiness thinks.This essay will discuss both said but I believe must impotant without less money in the life it is possibly happiness.
On the one hand,I thinks meny beneficial of more money can take people by happy in life.However,They taken buy every think in life due to spends money like, buy any thinks,better lifestyle and strong images in society.Although,While money bought many items very esay way and then people are believe taken luxurious lifestyle.For exmaple,Humanity must use to saving money their are buy multifarious items it can need for there daily life.
On the onther hand,many people believe them behalf lack of money possible more happy in life.Therefore,Spend more time your familes members,friends,relatives because of those are provide happyness in life.Furthermore,people are take during weekend time spend time pay sports activities,take yoga,meditation many more another activities available they are provide happiness.For instance, I see read many articales it is possible limited and lack of money people are more happy compare for rich people.
In conclustions, although must priorities in life people how to more happy in daily life.whenever people lack of money and less saving they are not buy whole thinks in life but If possible were people taken spends time with family,friends and relatives their are more happiness.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors lead to happiness. However, the development of these ideas is limited by significant linguistic barriers. The position is stated in the introduction, but the supporting arguments are often repetitive and lack depth. For example, the explanation of how money provides a 'better lifestyle' is vague, and the discussion on non-monetary happiness relies on simple lists of activities like 'yoga' and 'meditation' without explaining why these are effective. To improve, you should focus on expanding your arguments with specific, logical reasoning rather than just listing concepts.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusions' are used, but the internal flow within paragraphs is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to follow the logical progression of your arguments. To improve, focus on using transition words more naturally and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one to create a smoother narrative flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is quite limited and there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation. For example, you use 'multifarious items' and 'strong images in society' in ways that do not fit the context. There are also many spelling errors, such as 'articales', 'conclustions', and 'exmaple'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the lack of precision and the repetitive use of basic words like 'happy' and 'money' prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on learning common collocations and practicing the correct spelling of academic vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The grammatical control is weak, with frequent errors in sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and word order. Many sentences are fragmented or lack necessary articles and prepositions, such as 'there are many people believe them taken in life lot of money'. The attempt to use complex structures often results in ungrammatical sentences that can impede the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practicing the correct use of articles and verb tenses.
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