Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

A few individuals ask the only way to stay happy in life is have a more finance. In my opinion, There are other things in life which made people happy.

One the one hand, Money makes people happy. Because when individuals earn lot of money they can easily afford EXPENSIVE ITEMS such as gold and braded clothes and items such as from LV and so on. Not only buy expensive items, but also they can easily make their dream house if they have a lot of money and people also explore any foreign country.

On the other hand, first of all, Not only money make younger ones glad. There are many ways to stay happy. If individuals do work and earn money this is good, but if individuals only love with money. They will feel homesickness. Another reason behind it, individuals need to spend time with their friends and family members to stay happy. Mainly good health and wellness is main course to stay happy.

All in all, Some people say the only way is to stay happy is to have a more money, but there are another way to stay glad beyond money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay addresses both parts of the prompt—how money brings happiness and other sources of happiness—the ideas are underdeveloped and lack sufficient explanation or relevant examples. The arguments remain superficial, such as the brief mention of 'expensive items' or 'good health'. To improve, you must expand your points with detailed explanations and concrete examples to reach the required length and demonstrate a more thorough exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression of ideas is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. Furthermore, some sentences lack clear connections, making the flow of the argument feel fragmented. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects logically to the overall argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, which limits your ability to express complex ideas. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'have a more finance' instead of 'have more money' and 'main course' instead of 'main factor'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to discuss the topic with precision. You should focus on learning topic-specific collocations and synonyms to avoid repeating simple words like 'happy' and 'money' throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('Money make younger ones'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain fragments, such as 'Because when individuals earn lot of money...'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, which are necessary for higher band scores. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and the appropriate use of articles, before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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