Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

People are having conflicting views regrading money and how crucial is it for individual's happiness. Having plenty of money provide the people financial freedom. However, there are certain things which cannot be influenced by money such as health and relationships.

Money plays a crucial role in individual's quality of life. People who are financially free can provide themselves quality education, house and verity of luxurious items which can make their life comfortable and joyful. For instance, a wealthy person can afford to travel by car, in contrast to that individual who does not have sufficient money have to travel by public transport. Such daily struggles can be reason for sadness and disappointment. An abundance of money is not only source of materialistic happiness but also it provide opportunities to gain various experiences.

On the other hand, some people believe money cannot bye all sort of happiness. Apart from money ,there are several factors that contribute to the happiness of individuals. A good example of this is having a healthy body, which is essential to experience fullest potential of life. In addition to that, having friends who are loyal, genuine and share similar interests can be the reason of joy. Moreover, achievements of individuals and their social recognition can also stimulate happiness. As an example, many students feel extremely delighted after passing difficult examinations. Lastly, seeing their loved one successful many people experience emotions of happiness such as parents feel happy when their children secure a place in a workforce.

In conclusion, although money is essential to meet daily requirements and to have a better quality of life, it is not only the parameter to assess the happiness of individuals. As disease free body and harmony in relationships also decides happiness of individuals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that influence it. The position is clear throughout. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as the comparison between car travel and public transport, and the mention of academic achievement. However, the development of some ideas is slightly superficial. For instance, the explanation of how money provides 'opportunities to gain various experiences' is mentioned but not fully elaborated upon. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more depth to your supporting arguments rather than listing several points briefly. Overall, the task is well-covered and the response remains focused on the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'However', 'For instance', 'In addition to that', and 'On the other hand' to link your thoughts. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing and punctuation, such as the comma placement in 'Apart from money ,there are several factors'. Despite these minor slips, the paragraphing is appropriate and the logical flow is maintained throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'financial freedom', 'luxurious items', and 'social recognition'. There are some instances of awkward phrasing or incorrect word choices, such as 'verity of luxurious items' (likely meaning 'variety') and 'money cannot bye all sort of happiness' (spelling error: 'buy'). Furthermore, 'disease free body' requires a hyphen. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precision in word choice and spelling. To improve, focus on collocations and ensure you are using the correct form of words in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('Having plenty of money provide' should be 'provides') and article usage ('the people' instead of 'people', 'the workforce' instead of 'the workforce'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'how crucial is it for individual's happiness'. While you attempt complex sentences, the frequency of these errors is noticeable. To achieve a higher band, you should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article consistency, as these errors currently prevent the writing from being consistently error-free.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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