Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people argue that happiness belongs to those who have a plenty of money in their life. There are several reasons that suggest that wealth might make individuals happy. Besides money, there are many other factors in life that bring happiness. Both reasons and factors will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

Discussing the reasons the foremost one I shall put forward is that money provides all kind of luxury in life. By this I mean that with money people can buy things they enjoy, which can contribute to their happiness. A fortune not only gives comfortable life

but also improve one's standard of living. for instance, a higher income allows people to afford better housing, quality health care nutritious food and a good education for their children. Additionally,

individuals with good financial stability can enjoy short vacations, which help them feel happy and refreshed

Discussing other factors instead of money can make people happy, the major one is that achieving something difficult gives more satisfaction and happiness to the person, such as winning a gold medal in olympics or any other field make people a sense of fulfilment. Furthermore, meeting with old friends and spending time, talking with them for hours can make feel people feel happier, more relax and emotionally refreshed. Moreover, happiness comes from inner peace and mental well being. Many people find happiness in simple moments, such as dancing in the rain, making paper boats, or having freedom to do what they love. These small experiences can bring joy and sense of contentment.

In conclusion, money can make people happy through providing comfort and all the luxury. However, helping each other, enjoy beautiful moments, making memories with friends and achieving difficult goals are also important factors that make people happy. I believe true happiness lies in a balance between financial security and inner peace.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt. You clearly identify how money contributes to happiness through luxury and standard of living, and you provide alternative sources of happiness such as personal achievement, social connection, and inner peace. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed. To reach a higher band, ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the relationship between money and happiness, rather than just stating that both sides will be discussed. The conclusion is effective, but the development of the 'inner peace' point could be slightly more analytical to fully explore the 'why' behind these factors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, and you use cohesive devices such as 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In conclusion' to link your thoughts. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the opening of the second paragraph ('Discussing the reasons the foremost one...') is a bit clunky. Improving the flow between sentences by using more varied referencing and avoiding repetitive sentence starters would enhance the overall coherence. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different aspects of the prompt.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'financial stability,' 'standard of living,' and 'contentment.' There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'a plenty of money' (should be 'plenty of money') and 'make feel people feel happier' (redundant). You attempt some less common vocabulary, which is good, but ensure that these are used with complete accuracy. Expanding your range to include more precise academic collocations would help elevate your score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are frequent minor errors in grammar and punctuation. For example, you missed articles in 'a comfortable life' and 'a sense of fulfilment,' and there are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'any other field make people.' Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are slightly run-on or lack necessary commas. To improve, focus on proofreading for small grammatical slips and ensuring consistent use of articles and pluralization.

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