Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary era, people are more found to focus on making money and neglecting prominent features of life such as happiness and fitness. While it is believed that finance has played significant role in one's life to be delight. The reasons of how having more money makes someone happy will be elucidated in ensuing paragraphs alongside what other aspects can also bring happiness in their life.

To commence, there could be several factors to be happy just because of healthy amount of money. The first and foremost, individual can fulfil all their wishes with the help of money which helps them relax. For example, money can help to buy new house and car, to get better education, to ingest high nutrient and vitamins food. Which overall builds their life effective and ends up in happy life. Another reason, wherewithal can also provide extra power and respect. Last but not least, having more bank balance provides a sense of secure future which reduce ultimate stress and make them happy.

However, other than money there are certain important things can assist meaningful life. Firstly, the fitness that is far crucial to be happy. For instance, one can have lot of money but struggling with a cancer or heart disorder is observed unhappy. Secondly, in this hectic lifestyle, by spending quality time with family always welcomes happiness like going on vacation, celebrating festivals and having dinner together. Apart from this, by achieving the objectives in a life: become a manager, gold medalist and secure first rank in competition. Hence, these are the factors equally benefits to maintain standard life with smile on face.

In conclusion, after analysing number of points, money can not cater all kind of emotions. Although it is equally prominent in life of someone to be happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the role of money in happiness and alternative sources of fulfillment. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, such as the mention of health and family. However, the development is sometimes slightly superficial; for instance, the point about 'extra power and respect' is mentioned but not fully explored. The position is clear throughout, and the essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is expanded with more depth or specific, illustrative examples rather than just listing them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main aspects of the prompt. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence,' 'However,' and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'The reasons of how having more money makes someone happy will be elucidated.' Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the use of 'wherewithal' to refer back to money. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, but the flow could be more natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common items like 'elucidated,' 'contemporary era,' and 'wherewithal.' However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice or awkward collocations, such as 'ingest high nutrient and vitamins food' (should be 'nutrient-rich food') and 'struggling with a cancer' (should be 'struggling with cancer'). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but the errors in collocation and occasional misuse of vocabulary prevent it from reaching a higher band. Focusing on natural word combinations and collocations would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('a new house', 'a happy life'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence fragments (e.g., 'Which overall builds their life effective'). Some sentences are poorly constructed, such as 'people are more found to focus on' and 'the fitness that is far crucial.' These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text, although they do not typically impede communication. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, article usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are grammatically sound.

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