Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

According to a section of society, Having countless money is the primary source of the happiness. Because the individuals who are extremely rich, by completing their and their family's dream make them more happy. A healthy family time is also equally important for the individual's life apart from the money.

With having more money, Individuals can easily fulfill thier as well as their family's dream. which can help them to gain the respect and love from their loved ones. Because of getting the more respect and love, people are becoming more satisfied with their life.

Apart from the money, a family time is the main important thing is the life. So many working businessmen are only focusing on earing a lot of money. In this race of earning more money, they sometimes forget that, their family is waiting for them. As a result, they can fullfill all the materialistic wishes of their family, but are not able to provide the love, which their family is seeking for. In the end, they started loosing attachment from their family, for example, a parent who is always available for their family in the every happy or sad situations, guide them with the positive thoughts, are geeting more love in their older age.

In conclusion, money is vital in the life, as it can help to complete all the desires and dreams family as well as individuals have. But A family time is also equally important as money, as it decides you will get the enough love in your death bed or not.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to happiness. The ideas are relevant, such as fulfilling material dreams and the importance of family time. However, the development is somewhat limited. The explanation of how money leads to respect and satisfaction is a bit repetitive, and the second body paragraph could benefit from more specific examples beyond the general mention of a parent. The position is clear, but the overall depth of analysis is restricted by the limited range of vocabulary and grammatical structures, which prevents a more nuanced exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is a clear progression of ideas from the role of money to the importance of family. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the repetitive use of 'Because of' and 'In the end'. Referencing is generally clear, but some transitions between sentences feel abrupt. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'countless money' (instead of 'a significant amount of money') and 'loosing attachment' (spelling error: 'losing'). The range is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors like 'extremely rich' and 'main important thing'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of more sophisticated or precise vocabulary prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Improving word choice and correcting spelling errors would significantly enhance the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. For example, 'Having countless money is the primary source of the happiness' contains an unnecessary article, and 'thier' is misspelled. There are also issues with sentence fragments, such as 'Because the individuals who are extremely rich, by completing their and their family's dream make them more happy.' Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While the errors do not completely obscure the meaning, they are frequent enough to be noticeable.

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