Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A big amount of money is a reason of happiness according to many individuals. As people can experience new things through money. Although, family is as important as money.

To begin with, majority of people believe that a lot of money brings happiness in life. This is undeniable fact that, money is a crucial asset of life. Without it people live like a handicap. They are not able to do anythings in life. The great amount of money can open a doors of thousands of experience. They offer luxury life-style, basic amenities and many more opportunities, this makes life more enjoyable. Therefore, some individuals consider good wealth as a happiness. For example, according to researchers people live long and happy life with huge portion of cash, as this helps them to explore new things.

However, there are other things like family and friends is equally play a pivotal role in individual lives. This is to say, through money we can buy anythings except feelings and emotions. There are multiple problems in life, people cannot solve with money. Which is only full-fill by parents and friends as they have better understanding and emotional bond. For instance, world famous richer dancer and singer Michael Jackson suffered numerous challenges in his life, such as he had sleeplessness issue because he was alone and had not loved once with him in his difficult time.

In conclusion, finances is the only asset that makes life very meaningful according to many people. It offers lots of opportunities in life, although other factors like closer person and family members is valuable similarly wealth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. The ideas are relevant, such as the role of luxury and experiences versus the importance of emotional bonds. However, the development is somewhat limited. The example of Michael Jackson is a bit tangential and could have been better integrated to support the argument about emotional needs. The conclusion contradicts the body paragraphs by stating that finances are the 'only' asset that makes life meaningful, which weakens the overall position. To improve, ensure that your conclusion aligns with the arguments presented in the body paragraphs and expand on your points with more depth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'However', and 'In conclusion'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, 'Although, family is as important as money' is a sentence fragment that lacks a main clause. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'Which is only full-fill by parents', where the relative pronoun does not clearly refer back to a specific noun. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that cohesive devices are used to link complete thoughts will help achieve a higher score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'a big amount of money' (better: 'a significant amount of wealth'), 'live like a handicap' (inappropriate usage), and 'full-fill' (spelling error). The phrase 'world famous richer dancer' is also grammatically and lexically awkward. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and collocations, and ensure that words are used in their correct context to convey meaning more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('finances is', 'other things... is equally play'), article usage ('a doors', 'a happiness'), and sentence fragments. The punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve the quality of your writing.

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