Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In today's hectic world people almost forgot to be happy and enjoy their life. people are becoming more money-mined and give more time to their work. some people think that to be wealthy is the only way to be happy while others think that there are many ways to become happy in their life. I will discus both views below.
Nowadays, people are in a race to become rich as they think money can solve all problems in their life and they will not to worry about anything. moreover they think having a lot of money can make people happy and give best facilities to their love-ones is the only thing they wants. for example buy expensive smart phone to their children is the only was to provide happiness , however they actually need is to be there , spend time and do fun activities with them can solve problems and be happy is the most effective way. In addiction, women think that having a lot of money is more important then being housewife , they think making a money and hire nanny can solve a problem and be happy in their life.
on the other hand , there are so many ways to be happy rather than having a lot of money like daily give gesture to their love-ones , spend family time with your family , go for vacation with your parents and so on. Moreover, sometimes a little thing can make people happy like make a tea for your family and help them in their day-to-day life can make people happy
At the end, indeed , money is important but if people think a lot of many is a only option to become happy, which is not correct . people has to find a ways to become happy
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding women and nannies is underdeveloped and lacks a clear connection to the broader topic of happiness. While the position is clear, the supporting examples, such as 'buying expensive smart phones,' are simplistic and lack the depth required for a higher band. To improve, you should expand on your points with more nuanced reasoning and ensure that all examples directly support your main arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'In addiction' is used incorrectly (likely meant 'In addition'), and the transition 'At the end' is not standard for a conclusion. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words correctly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision needed for a higher score. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'money-mined' (likely meant 'money-minded') and 'give gesture'. The repetition of basic vocabulary like 'happy' and 'money' limits the sophistication of the response. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations, such as 'financial stability' instead of 'having a lot of money' or 'well-being' instead of 'happy'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('people almost forgot', 'they wants'), article usage, and punctuation errors. For example, 'they will not to worry' is grammatically incorrect. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tenses would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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