Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many individuals frequently argued that having a ample money is foremost way to bring happiness in life. Although money plays vital role to live happy life, other things like good health, family ,satisfaction are also very importent to live adorable life. The Contribution of money as well as importence of other things in life would be discuss in the ensuing paragraphs.

Undoubtedly possessing sufficient money is a boon to live happy life. It brings happiness, comfort and also fulfills basic needs of life. It provides financial security, stability as well as purchasing power. If individuals have a lot of money, they can live more comfortable, luxurious, and high standard life. Money provides high quality education, nutritious food, facilitated

residence, variety of clothes; moreover, it can established high status of that person in the society. For instance, people give more respect and attention to the rich person also give him/her VIP treatments in social gatherings. Invites them as chief guest. As result people feel proud and happiness. In such a manner money spreads joy and happiness among people.

Nevertheless, other contributing factors are not overlooked. No doubt money is important for joyful life, other factors are also as essential as wealth. Factors such as family, work satisfaction, good health, healthy relationships, caring and supportive circles etc. They provide love, moral support, enthusiasm, companionship as well as encouragement ,which contributes a lot to make life happy. People need both physical support as well as mental support. Despite having financial stability, people's lifes are incomplete without their family, well-wishers and friends. Good health is first condition for delightful life. For example, on many places people live happy life with family and friends who are from below poverty line, do not have too much money. As this other factors are also important.

To conclude, money is important for happy life because it gives comfort, high status, quality of life. On the other hand other factors are also essential like good health, family, job satisfaction, etc. Both are equally contribute to make life joyful and comfortable. It is impossible without any one of this.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. The ideas are relevant and clearly presented. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the discussion on money focuses heavily on material possessions and status, while the section on other factors lists several items without fully exploring how they specifically foster happiness. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more nuanced examples and a more cohesive argument that links these factors to the concept of happiness more deeply.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a discernible progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'moreover' and 'for instance'. Additionally, some transitions between sentences are abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the third paragraph where the connection between the poverty line example and the preceding argument could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, such as 'financial stability', 'luxurious', and 'enthusiasm'. However, there are several word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'importent' instead of 'important', 'adorable' instead of 'desirable', and 'facilitated residence'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the writing. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise collocations would help improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('a ample money', 'the rich person'), subject-verb agreement ('Many individuals frequently argued'), and sentence fragments ('facilitated residence'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While the student attempts complex structures, the control over them is inconsistent. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed correctly.

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