Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In Today's era, everything is about money. A person's priority is not love or good values it is just money, they have forget relations, care and connection that they used to have with their family. I will present my views on this in the passage below.

Firstly, it has been acknowleged, that care and love for your family has no significance when ever there is money. With more wealth, people's mind gets clouded with ego and arrogance and due to that most of the families they have lost the conncetion between their brother's and sister's. Nowadays, this has been faced by many families and the person from middleclass family who has no witness to talk about this issue abrubtly. Most of the people are trapped with this issue since centuries and it has been carried forward with the next generation and with more chaos.

However, it is true that money bring's class, happiness and fond of buying everything in power whether they are fashion, cars or assets but that is not everything. Earlier people used to follow rituals and traditions with respect to their religion, but today they have made their own way of practising the laws and values as they have money and that makes them to change everything in their power. A person who has moeny and is famous gets honour in temples with extra treatment, whereas middle class person has to wait and stand in queue to seek blessings from god.

In the conclusion, I would request people not to forget their roots from where they came from. They should respect their families and to see people with equality beacuse in the end, nothing goes with you except with your karma.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but struggles with focus and development. While you mention how money brings 'class' and 'assets,' the explanation of why this makes people happy is somewhat superficial. Furthermore, the second part of the prompt—asking for other things that make people happy—is not explicitly answered; instead, you focus heavily on the negative impacts of money on family relationships and religious practices. The position is clear, but the ideas are not fully extended or supported with specific, relevant examples. To improve, ensure you dedicate clear paragraphs to both parts of the question and provide more balanced, logical arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is often interrupted by unclear transitions and awkward phrasing. For instance, the jump from discussing family connections to the influence of money on religious rituals lacks a smooth cohesive link. While some linking words like 'Firstly' and 'However' are used, the internal structure of sentences is often disjointed, making the progression of ideas feel mechanical. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the phrase 'this has been faced by many families,' where the antecedent is ambiguous. Improving the use of cohesive devices and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, with several instances of word-choice errors that hinder precision. For example, 'witness to talk about this issue abrubtly' and 'fond of buying everything' are non-standard collocations. There are also frequent spelling errors, such as 'acknowleged,' 'conncetion,' 'beacuse,' and 'moeny.' While you attempt to use some topic-related vocabulary like 'assets' and 'rituals,' the range is insufficient to express complex ideas fluently. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning accurate collocations and proofreading for basic spelling mistakes, which currently detract from the professional tone of the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('money bring's,' 'families they have lost'), incorrect punctuation (unnecessary apostrophes in 'bring's' and 'brother's'), and awkward sentence construction. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors is high and occasionally causes the reader to pause. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, which limits the grammatical range. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and plural forms before attempting more complex structures.

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