Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Some people thinks that key of staying joyful in life is to have an abundance of money. There are numbers of reasons why with the money people are staying happy; however, with the other small things people still can be stay happy without even having a money. This essay will explained these points in detailed in the ensuing paragraphs.
To commence with, there are following reasons with that people are staying happy. Firstly, If people have more money they can get a luxurious house with the modern facilities which is every humanbeings dream. People are able to chase all materiliastic happiness and fulfill their desire. Secondly, wealthy parents are able to give their children wealthy lifestyle and good quality of education. While, in the middle class family they have to first think about their budget.
However, there are still many things in life can make people joyful. To begin with, some people are even finding their happy moments in small things rather than big achievements. For example, wealthy people have enormus houses with the good amenities in the cities still middle class people are more happy because they are living with their families in small house. Another point is that, by helping needy people individuals can stay happy as they finding it satisfying. For instance, giving poor people to food and clothes.
To conclude, there is no second thought that with the lots of money people can stay happy such as with the getting wealthy lifestyle and giving good education to their children. Also, without money people are finding their happiness in small things such as spending time with family and giving money and food to needy people.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors lead to happiness. The ideas are relevant, such as luxury housing and education for the first part, and family time and altruism for the second. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For example, the point about 'wealthy parents' is introduced but not fully explained in terms of how it directly creates happiness beyond just having a 'good lifestyle'. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly extended to reach a higher band. Overall, the task is addressed adequately.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. The use of cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Firstly', 'However', and 'To conclude' helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'There are numbers of reasons why with the money people are staying happy'. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, and the transition between sentences could be smoother to avoid a repetitive structure. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different aspects of the prompt.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'abundance', 'luxurious', 'amenities', and 'materialistic'. However, there are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'with the money people are staying happy' instead of 'money makes people happy' and 'enormus' (spelling error). The range is sufficient to discuss the topic, but the lack of precision and occasional spelling mistakes limit the score to a 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Some people thinks'), incorrect article usage ('having a money'), and awkward phrasing ('This essay will explained'). These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the response, though they do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points. To improve, the writer should focus on basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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