Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that financial stability makes people rejuvenate. Although people can buy expensive products such as cars, houses, and branded clothes are often the first choices of citizens to make them happy, strong relationships would not be a pivotal subsitute for the money.

Advocates believe that wokers work relentlessly to earn plenty of money to fulfill their passion. Proponents think that happiness often comes with buying costly four-wheelers, houses, and expensive products, which cannot only fulfill their high ended demands but also give them sense of richest autonomy. If people have millions of wealth in their bank accounts, they can buy anything without taking any stress of financial crisis. For instance, some people wants to buy the most wealthiest assets over a night, they think this is the only way, which make their life happier.

However, Indeed, poverty exacerbates the miserable life. The love and affection with their family members and relatives would never be replaced with wealth. For example, emotionally connected people might become delight after buying the expensive motor vehicles and properties because of the absence of their parents make this milestone emotional. An individual can eat delicious food, buy costly clothes, and get a better hospitality with money, but the quality time spend in childhood and bonding with old friends will never be bought with capital cash.

To conclude, while buying the wealthy products often be a dream for people which they think is the most satisfied need to achieve, the strong bonding with loved ones and the earlier time spend with themselves can never buy with any currency.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. The ideas are relevant, such as the ability to purchase assets and the importance of emotional connections. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The explanation of how money provides 'autonomy' is a good start, but the argument regarding poverty and family is slightly disjointed and lacks clear logical flow. The position is generally clear, but some sentences, such as the one mentioning 'absence of their parents', are confusing and do not effectively support the main argument. Further elaboration on the non-monetary factors would have strengthened the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'However', 'For instance', and 'To conclude'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'However, Indeed, poverty exacerbates...' is awkward and redundant. Additionally, some transitions between sentences are abrupt, making the progression of ideas feel slightly disjointed. Referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the third paragraph where the connection between buying vehicles and the 'absence of parents' is difficult to follow. Improved control over linking words would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but shows some inconsistency. There are attempts to use less common items like 'rejuvenate', 'pivotal substitute', and 'autonomy', but these are often used incorrectly or in unnatural collocations (e.g., 'sense of richest autonomy' or 'buying the wealthy products'). There are also several word-choice errors, such as 'delight' used as an adjective instead of 'delighted', and 'capital cash', which is redundant. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precision in word choice limits the score. A wider range of natural collocations would improve the overall quality.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('some people wants', 'products... are often the first choices'), incorrect verb forms ('time spend' instead of 'time spent'), and awkward phrasing ('can never buy with any currency' instead of 'can never be bought'). While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. More attention to basic sentence construction and passive voice usage would be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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