Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It is true that a lot of money has a brought happiness in a life. Although money makes people life easiest and happiest, i believe that health and bonding with family also contribute to make life happiness.
To begin with, there are several reasons why number of money bring happiness in life. First and foremost, if people have huge amount of money, they have no need to look after others to cater their fundamental needs. To explain, when people want to buy any materialistic things such as mobile phone, laptop and microwave they have no need to think before purchasing it. In addition to it, it helps to make a status in front of society because they always wear branded cloths which helps not only enhance their personality but also show their status in front of others that is why they may feel proud. In contrast, sometime people have less wealth, they can not complete their hobbies in turn of which they can suffer from mentally disorders, anxiety and depression. Thus, number of money play a vital role in human lives.
Despite having a lot of money, people should focus on health and family that are also more crucial than money. Firstly, people always spend time on work to earn a lot of money that is why they can not spend time their family which put destructive influence on their relation so people should keep some free time for their families so they can know about families like or dislike which helps them to maintain strong bonding with them. Along with this, individuals should focus on health when their health is well , they can easily focus on work if they do not eat food on time and not doing exercise as a consequence they neither attention on their work nor live well.
To conclude, while number of money play a significant role to bring happiness, i think that others factors are more pivotal than number of money.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and simplistic. For instance, the argument regarding 'status' and 'branded clothes' is a bit superficial, and the explanation of health is slightly underdeveloped. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more nuanced examples and explore the psychological or social implications of these factors in greater depth. The conclusion is brief and merely restates the introduction rather than synthesizing the main points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'First and foremost', 'In addition to it', and 'In contrast' to signal transitions. However, some of these devices are used mechanically or slightly incorrectly, such as 'in turn of which' and 'that is why'. The flow between sentences is generally logical, but the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the connection between health and work could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely heavily on basic phrases like 'a lot of money' and 'number of money', which is not natural English usage. There are also some collocation errors, such as 'mentally disorders' instead of 'mental disorders' and 'cater their fundamental needs'. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'materialistic', 'pivotal', and 'destructive influence', the overall range is limited. Improving your control over collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing would significantly enhance your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'number of money play'), article usage (e.g., 'in a life'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'they can not spend time their family'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in sentence boundaries and comma usage. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for articles and prepositions would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.