Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is a debatable topic, that money makes you a happy in life. Nevertheless, there are plenty of things which can be also crucial for joyful life. In this essay, I will shed some light on both, why people feel happier when they are rich and what other things can not be negligible as well for happiness in life.

There is a famous quote "money can buy everything". To begin with, an individual having a lot of money can enjoy his or her life to the fullest. In other words, that person can buy whatever they want for instance, luxury home, sports car, and wealthy life style. Which is significantly plays a vital role to mitigate stress in life and live meaningfully. Moreover, money gives you a power to hire any security and services which provides a convenience in life.

Although, a lot money can buy any sort of goods and services, it does not mean you becomes god and get everything. To elaborate this, there are few thing which you can not posses even with a lot of money, for an example, time, inner well being, and true emotions. A rich person can not buy true love relationships and friendships with money also at the same time, money can not buy the time. the moment passed can not be posses again with help of money.

To sum up, it is believed that money buys you everything. However how much money someone need to be happy is still a question that no one knows as money is a lucrative as you get selfish once you get some money and get attracted to get more money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. The ideas are relevant, such as the ability to purchase security and services versus the intangible nature of time and relationships. However, the development is somewhat limited. The explanation of why money leads to happiness is brief, and the discussion on non-monetary factors could be more deeply explored with specific examples. The conclusion introduces a new idea about the 'selfish' nature of money, which is not fully integrated into the previous arguments. Overall, the response is clear but would benefit from more detailed elaboration to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'To sum up', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or misused, such as 'Although, a lot money can buy...' where 'Although' is used incorrectly as a preposition. Additionally, some sentences lack smooth flow, such as 'Which is significantly plays a vital role', where the relative pronoun 'which' creates a fragment. Paragraphing is present, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by better linking of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'mitigate', 'negligible', and 'lucrative'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'a happy in life' (should be 'happiness in life'), 'wealthy life style' (should be 'luxurious lifestyle'), and 'the moment passed can not be posses' (should be 'possessed'). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Which is significantly plays'), missing articles ('a lot money', 'for an example'), and incorrect verb forms ('can not be posses'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the student attempts complex sentences, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar limits the score. To improve, the student should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.

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