Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many people believe that money makes life more happy and convenient because with money they can purchase advanced and high-tech equipment which helps them to become more heather and happier. While others argue that other things such as family, friends and success is also the reasons which makes human being happy and relaxed.

On the one hand, there are many reasons why people think that money can buy happiness because with money people can satisfy their all needs such as buying their dream house, car and build business. Moreover, with currency they can stay healthy and fit by taking expensive treatments and advanced medicines which provide them self-satisfaction such as many billionaires and rich celebrities spend a lot of money on themselves to make their self healthy and beautiful. As a result, they makes themself happy and more satisfied.

On the other hand, people can stay happy without money with their family, friends and life partners by sharing and build strong emotional relationships which leads them to get harmony in life. By spending time with family and friends people enjoy the life they build teamwork skills, strong their communication and become for confident and passionate. For example, family and friends can help the individual in hard times by provide them emotional and financial support to overcome form the situation.

In conclusion, Although money can satisfy people by filling all their desires and requirements but it cannot give the real happiness which can only get from gamily and friends. Therefore an balanced approach is more beneficial for individuals to experience the real haven.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. The ideas are relevant and clearly structured. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of how money leads to happiness relies on general statements about 'billionaires' and 'expensive treatments' without deeper analysis. Similarly, the section on non-monetary factors is clear but could be strengthened with more specific, nuanced examples. The position is consistent throughout, and the conclusion provides a balanced summary. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand your supporting points with more detailed reasoning or specific real-world examples to demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use transition signals such as 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader through your argument. However, some cohesive devices are used mechanically or slightly incorrectly, such as 'overcome form the situation' or 'leads them to get harmony'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally repetitive, particularly the frequent use of 'people' and 'money'. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that pronouns refer clearly to their antecedents would enhance the flow of your writing and help you achieve a more sophisticated level of cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'emotional relationships', 'financial support', and 'balanced approach'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'make their self healthy' (should be 'keep themselves healthy'), 'become for confident' (should be 'become more confident'), and 'get the real happiness' (should be 'achieve real happiness'). While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the precision of your expression. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and refining your use of adjectives and adverbs to add more nuance to your arguments.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('they makes themself'), article usage, and prepositional phrases ('overcome form the situation'). While your meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors indicate a lack of full control over complex structures. To improve, pay closer attention to verb forms and pluralization. Try to proofread your work specifically for these common slips, as reducing the frequency of these errors will significantly improve the overall quality and readability of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.