Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this Contemporary world, No one can stay without money. It has become an important need of life.However, some people argues that money cannot buy happiness where other believe that the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. In this below paragraph we will be discussing about the both the viewpoints. Somehow, I do agree that there are things beyond the money that can make people enjoy their life itself.

On one hand, Money plays a vital role in human beings. It can support an individuals to buy luxury items that they want. This can provide a comfort to their personal living. Hence, this materialistic things makes them happy. For Instance; buying luxurious car of $10M which gives sleeping facility with a kitchen and a capacity to invite more people to party and enjoy.

On other hand, relations with the people living around which we usually termed as "family" curates emotional well being. However, its stated that people can stay happy without money through friends and family which are not formed by money but emotional and physical attachment.

For instance, if a person with money is sick and hospitalised in medical room, he will be having accompany of people who he has to pay or who cares for their payment and are forced to stay whereas people with less money will be cured by the support of their loved ones without any greed of returns.

Finally, I would say that people can find happiness with out having lot of money by taling care of the close ones and having fun with each other.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The explanation regarding money is supported by a specific example of a luxury car, but the logic is slightly simplistic. The second body paragraph regarding family is relevant but lacks depth in its comparison; the example provided is a bit disjointed and relies on a somewhat cynical view of paid care. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your arguments with more nuanced reasoning and ensure your position remains consistent throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'On one hand' and 'For instance' to signal transitions. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by mechanical phrasing, such as 'In this below paragraph we will be discussing about the both the viewpoints.' The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the logical progression between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'materialistic', 'emotional well-being', and 'hospitalised'. However, there are instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'stay without money' instead of 'live without money' and 'curates emotional well being' which is not the most natural usage in this context. To improve, focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—and try to incorporate a slightly wider range of precise vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('some people argues', 'this materialistic things makes') and article usage ('a luxurious car', 'the both the viewpoints'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of semicolons and commas. To achieve a higher band, you need to increase the frequency of error-free sentences and pay closer attention to basic grammatical rules, especially regarding pluralization and verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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