Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Few individuals argue that the primary way to be happy and satisfied in life is to accumulate enormous wealth. This essay will elucidate the reason of this tread and will also discuss about some other things that can also bring peace and happiness to human beings.

To commence with, the primary reason why some people contend that having humongous money will flourish their lives is that they believe money can buy everything in the modern world. To elaborate, since money is involved in almost every aspects of our life, it can be used for vacations, eating out, buying goods, getting better medical facilities and much more. Furthermore, in the contemporary world money can buy fame and respect too. As a result, people want to earn and save as much as they can to prove their worth in the society. To exemplify, businessmen are respected more than ordinary people because in today's world, success is measured by the amount of money we earn, qualities such as kindness, empathy and behaviour are secondary.

To answer the second question, other things which can make people happy are their relationships and achieving personal. To expound, for some individuals peace of mind matters more than money. They believe in work-life balance and love to spend time with their loved ones. Additionally, some people have an emotional connection with their goals and for them converting their dreams into reality matters more. For instance, my elder brother always wanted to become a wildlife photographer. Although my father was not satisfied by his decision, he wanted him to become an engineer.

To conclude, this essay has discussed that some people are money-minded. They feel that money is the most important thing in the 21st century. Hence, it is a primary reason for their happiness. In addition to this, it has also discussed that few other things such as family, relationships and goals can also make people happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed. However, the development of the second body paragraph is slightly incomplete; the example regarding the brother is introduced but lacks a clear conclusion or link back to how this specific situation resulted in happiness. To reach a higher band, ensure that every example provided is fully connected to the main argument. The position is clear throughout, and the essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'To conclude' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the incomplete phrase 'achieving personal' in the second body paragraph, which disrupts the flow. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, and the structure supports the reader's understanding.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common items like 'elucidate', 'contend', and 'contemporary'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice or collocation errors, such as 'humongous money' (which is informal and unnatural) and 'reason of this tread' (likely a misspelling of 'trend'). Additionally, 'money-minded' is used correctly but the range of vocabulary remains somewhat limited. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding informal or non-standard phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'every aspects of our life' (should be 'every aspect'), 'discuss about' (unnecessary preposition), and 'achieving personal' (missing noun). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor slips throughout. The control of grammar is sufficient to communicate ideas, but the frequency of errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Increasing the variety of error-free complex structures would be beneficial.

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