Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people believe that primary way to be happy in life is to earn a lot of money. I believe although having a lot of money make person feel happy as one can enjoy the luxurious life but other things such as relations, family is equally important.

The foremost reason for everyone's happiness is money as it helps us to buy the necessities of life. Moreover, higher earnings will bring the luxury to life of many people making life comfortable and easy for them. Further, there will be no stress for arranging finances for future. For instance, person with low income mostly feel stressed and pressured due to lack of money as sometimes they fail to fulfill family responsibilities such as daughter's marriage thus making them sacrifice many things and they feel sad.

Although money plays a significant role in our lives but other things such as family, friends also makes people feel cherished. Even though we have enough money that we can buy anything in world but to enjoy our lives we need friends or family. for instance we may buy a luxurious home but if there is nobody in it we cannot enjoy our life at all. Moreover, money cannot make the person enjoy small moments which family can. Further, even if someone does not have enough money then also friends stands by and makes us feel values and respected. Lastly, friends and family create endless laughter, drama that makes an individual happy cherished, and joyful.

To conclude, we can say that though money is important in one's life but there are relatives, friends which stands by us in difficult situation and helps us making memories and enjoy small moments.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the explanation of how money provides necessities and luxury is clear, but the discussion on family and friends lacks specific, varied examples to fully extend the argument. While the ideas are relevant, they remain at a somewhat general level. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more nuanced examples or deeper analysis of why these factors contribute to happiness beyond basic comfort or companionship.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Further', and 'Although' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. Additionally, there are instances where referencing is slightly unclear, such as the transition between the discussion of money and the shift to family. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main ideas, which helps the reader follow the progression of your argument. Improving the variety of your linking words would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'luxurious', 'necessities', 'cherished', and 'responsibilities'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'arranging finances for future' (should be 'arranging finances for the future') and 'friends stands by' (should be 'friends stand by'). You also repeat certain words like 'happy' and 'life' frequently. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations to express your ideas with greater sophistication and avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles (e.g., 'the primary way', 'the luxurious life'), subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'money make person', 'friends stands by'), and pluralization. These errors are noticeable but do not generally impede communication. To achieve a higher score, focus on consistent subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures while ensuring they remain error-free will also help improve your score in this criterion.

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