Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In an increasingly interconnected world, working hard to earn money is the commonly witnessed phenomenon. Some part of society argue that having a lot of money is the primary way to be happy in life. People try different methods by which they get earn enough money to do whatever they want.

To commence with, if individuals have good sum of money, it will lead them to buy whatever they want.

To substantiate, individuals get pleasure and piece of mind when they are able to purchase any object that they want. In addition, money allow people to do whatever will make them joyful. To cite an example, famous football player Ronaldo mentioned in his interview that when he was really poor when he was kid and had to think before buying anything but now, he has enough money to purchase anything that will make him excited as well as cheerful. Hence, money makes people life easy and enjoyable.

Moreover, spending some quality time with family members not only make individuals feel happy but also relaxed. In other words, people get opportunity to talk about their worries with their family members because of which they are able to get solution. Additionally, enjoying something new with loved ones make person feel joyful and able to create some sweet memories. To quote an instance, according to report from University of Toronto, people who live with their family are more happy in their life’s as compared to the ones who live alone. Therefore, having loved ones amenable individuals to create some memories and relish life.

To recapitulate, money assist in making life easy as person can buy anything irrespective of how highly priced that object is. Having caregivers or friends provide opportunity to share worries as well as exploring and having new experiences together.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to happiness. The ideas are relevant and supported by examples, such as the reference to Ronaldo and the University of Toronto report. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of why money makes life 'easy' is repetitive, and the link between family and happiness could be explored with more depth rather than just stating it makes one 'relaxed'. To reach a higher band, ensure that the arguments are fully extended with more nuanced analysis rather than relying on simple assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'To recapitulate', which help guide the reader. However, some of the transitions feel mechanical or slightly misused, such as 'amenable individuals' in the third paragraph, which does not fit the context. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs needs more variety and natural phrasing to move beyond a Band 6.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'substantiate', 'interconnected', and 'recapitulate'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'good sum of money' (a good amount of money), 'piece of mind' (peace of mind), and 'money allow' (money allows). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the message. To improve, focus on learning collocations and ensuring subject-verb agreement with uncountable nouns.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'money allow', 'family members not only make', 'money makes people life easy') and article usage. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors, such as missing commas in complex sentences. The majority of the sentences contain at least one minor error, which keeps the score in the 5.5 to 6.0 range. Increasing the accuracy of basic grammatical rules will significantly improve the overall quality of the writing.

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