Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In contempory era, some people think that having a huge amount of money plays a crucial role to be happy in life. I agree to certain extent with this statement because money can fulfil materialistic desires of humans. Apart from money, Person's mental and physical health also matter most to stay happy. This essay will address both the questions and explain the driving factors behind it in the forth-coming paragraphs.

To commence, having a lot of money make people happy according to the current scenario. The dominant reason behind that is person can buy all luxury things to be happy and be comfortable. For example, if person have huge amount of money than they can buy luxury car, big houses and other materialistic things to get comfort. They do not need to think about the prices of things even once. Furthermore, people can hire helpers to do their chores if the person's financial backgrpund is sound. People do not need to spend their time and physical efforts behind these types of unproductive things. They can spend that qualitytime with their friends, persue their hobbies or at work place to earn more money to be happy. For instance, a person can hire car driver, maid, cook for delegate their household activities. Eventually, they can use that time behind other qualitative and productive things. Thus, above mentioend reasons clearly substantiate that how having a lot of money brings happiness in person's life.

Despite of the above mentioned viewpoints and money, there are otherthings such as physical and mental wellbeing matter most to be happy in life. To elaborate, if person's financial status is too good but he or she physically disable or mentally disturbed then the person can not enjoy luxury. Additionally, having a good and co-operative friend circle, well family background, balanced work-life are also important factors to be relax and stay happy. Otherwise, people become anxious and depressed. We are living in a consumerism society. Therefore person's own satisfaction also important. If person run behind money and only money than also he or she can not enjoy their life. So above mentioned factors illucidate that what other things in life make people happy.

In conclussion, Although money brings luxury and materialistic lifestyle, Yet having physical and mental wellbeing, person satisfaction level, balanced work-life, family background, good friend circles are play an important role to stay happy in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, such as the discussion on outsourcing chores to gain time. However, the development is occasionally repetitive, particularly in the third paragraph where the focus on 'mental and physical health' could have been more clearly distinguished from the 'balanced work-life' point. The position is clear throughout, and the essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point provides a unique perspective rather than restating similar concepts.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices are used throughout, such as 'To commence', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'above mentioned'. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the phrase 'Despite of the above mentioned viewpoints and money', which is grammatically awkward and disrupts the logical transition between paragraphs. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts to use topic-specific language like 'materialistic desires', 'consumerism society', and 'financial background'. However, there are several spelling errors ('contempory', 'backgrpund', 'persue', 'illucidate', 'conclussion') and some awkward collocations ('delegate their household activities' instead of 'delegate household tasks'). While the meaning is always clear, these errors indicate a lack of precision. To improve, focus on mastering the spelling of common academic vocabulary and refining collocations to sound more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing articles ('if person have', 'if person's financial status'), subject-verb agreement issues ('having a lot of money make people happy'), and incorrect preposition usage ('Despite of'). These errors are noticeable but do not impede communication. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to demonstrate better control over articles and subject-verb agreement, and aim for more error-free complex structures.

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