Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the today's modern era, there are some people believing that having a abundant money can bring happiness in their life, but for other they believe that there are other things which can bring joy in someone's life. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will give illustrations and explanations on the above line.

First and foremost, with the help of lot of money people believe that they could buy whatever they want like luxury clothes, cars and so on and never had to worry about any thing in their life. For example, with the plentiful capital, someone can buy anything once they dreamed of it, also could see happiness on the close ones too. Secondly, Due to this person can invest that money on himself and his family or friends to see them happy by fulfilling their needs.

But, for me having a lot of money is good but it could not satisfy everyone like someone needs love, support from others, and soon emotional and physical help which could bring much happiness from them then money. Moreover, in this economy, a large number of youth is facing depression, loneliness they need support to overcome this disease. They should go out with their friends, family, or love to feel better, in such cases having a plentiful money cannot bring joy in their life.

At last, I would like to conclude by saying that having a ample amount of money could be beneficial sometimes, but at last love, support from clove people could overcome the happiness over money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money brings happiness and other sources of happiness. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of why money brings happiness is repetitive, focusing mainly on buying luxury items. The second body paragraph introduces the concept of emotional support and mental health, which is relevant, but the arguments lack depth and specific examples. The position is clear, but the overall development is limited by the brevity of the points made. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations or concrete examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'First and foremost', 'Secondly', and 'Moreover', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'Due to this person can invest' and 'at last love, support from clove people'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different aspects of the prompt, which helps the overall structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are several instances of awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'an abundant money' (should be 'abundant money' or 'a lot of money'), 'plentiful capital', and 'clove people' (likely meaning 'loved ones'). While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and the errors in word formation and collocation occasionally distract the reader. Using more precise academic vocabulary would improve the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include article misuse ('In the today's modern era'), subject-verb agreement, and awkward phrasing ('someone needs love... and soon emotional and physical help'). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are run-on or lack clarity. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to suggest a lack of control over more complex structures. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and sentence construction will be beneficial.

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