Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In this modern era, money is precious for everyone. Few individuals said that having plenty of money is the main way to live happier in the life. I will discuss the reasons behind that and some other ways that can make people happy in the further upcoming paragraphs.
To begin, There are various reasons why having huge amount of money is the best way to have a happy life. The first reason is that money plays crucial role in people's life because everything is so expensive in these days so to get anything everybody need lots of money. If people have plenty of money they can buy anything without any difficulty or go anywhere such as on vocation, eat anything they like, buy new clothes. As a result, They can live stress free and happier life. Secondly, If individuals have large amount of money they can give their children better education as in these days schools fees are so high so they can pay their fees easily. Thus, Children will be better educated and happier.
On the other side, There are many other ways or things that can make life happier. Firstly, Nowadays people who have lot of money has hectic schedule to make money for their family and do not give much time to their family which creates misunderstanding in the family. So if individuals spend time with their family they can be have happier life even without money. Another way is to do whatever they want to do like their hobbies such as, In 1997 john smith had hobby to dance after he started to work on his hobby he become famous and had happier life.
In conclusion, Although having lots of money can make people life happier but I believe that other things like spending time with family would be better option to live happier or fulfill your hobbies.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to a fulfilling life. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat basic. For instance, the argument regarding money is limited to purchasing power and education, while the section on other factors relies on a brief, anecdotal example about 'John Smith'. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced analysis and more detailed, generalized examples rather than relying on a single specific personal anecdote. The response covers all requirements but lacks the depth of exploration expected at higher levels.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin', 'Secondly', 'On the other side', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, there are issues with sentence-level cohesion, such as the awkward phrasing 'they can be have happier life'. While the overall progression is coherent, the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing is more precise throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'happy', 'money', and 'things'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'vocation' (likely meant 'vacation') and 'live happier in the life'. To improve, you should aim to incorporate more precise, topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'financial security', 'materialistic pursuits', 'intrinsic fulfillment') and demonstrate a better grasp of collocations. The current range is sufficient to communicate your ideas clearly, but it lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'people who have lot of money has'), missing articles (e.g., 'in these days'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'they can be have happier life'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary capitalization after commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall readability of the essay. Increasing your control over complex structures and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy will be essential for improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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