Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Few individuals think that wealth is good for staying happy in life. There are several reasons why they believe that the first is that money can buy anything. On the other hand, some think that health is most significant to stay happy in life.

To begin with, money is becoming the most important part of life and everyone wants to earn money in life for a better lifestyle. To elaborate on it, nowadays, if you are financially strong, then you are good in other people's eyes, and they respect you. Moreover, with the help of money, individuals can buy everything that is important for life. Hence, money plays an important role in staying happy in life.

Moving towards the other side, health is more important than compared to money. There is a famous qoute is health is wealth. To explain it, people who are healthy are happier because they can enjoy their life how they want. They go for a morning walk, spend time with their friends, and enjoy every moment with joy. For instance, I spend time with people and I figure out after deep analysis individuals who are spending time with their family or other phhysical activies those are more happy as compared to money. As a result, healthy and physically fit people enjoy their life in the best way.

In cunclusion, Although, although money play a crucial role in staying happy, people can buy everything, yet money can not buy health and happiness. people enjoy quality life who are physically fit and spend time with others. I firmly agree that health is important and individuals should spend time on activities that help them to stay fit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and what other factors are important. The position is clear, though the development of ideas is somewhat simplistic. For example, the argument that money brings respect is a relevant point, but it lacks depth. The second body paragraph attempts to contrast wealth with health, which is a good approach, but the supporting examples, such as 'morning walk', are quite basic. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more nuanced explanations and more sophisticated examples to support your arguments, rather than relying on general observations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' to link your thoughts. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'Moving towards the other side'. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that your referencing is precise will help to improve the overall cohesion of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. You frequently use simple terms like 'good', 'important', and 'happy'. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'financially strong' and 'physically fit', there is a lack of variety and precision. There are also minor spelling errors, such as 'qoute' and 'phhysical', which, while they do not impede communication, indicate a need for more careful proofreading. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations to express your ideas with greater sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'There is a famous qoute is health is wealth' (which is a run-on/fused sentence) and 'money play a crucial role' (subject-verb agreement error). You also have issues with punctuation and capitalization, such as starting sentences with lowercase letters in the conclusion. While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to limit your score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and sentence boundary punctuation will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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