Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A number of individuals holds a beilef that hapiness in life is directly linked with the wealth, while others argued and claim that to live a happy life several factors other than money were also essential. This essay will discuss both viewpoints before explaining why I beileve that money is not a sole driving factor for hapiness.

To begin with, money plays a crucial role to buy the things you want in life. Therefore, it is important to earn enough money for a standard living and fulfill your dreams. For instance, if you don't earn enough to meet your expenses and cope up with the economy. This will create a stress on you, moreover. As per the increasing trends on social media people beileve that the hapiness is directly linked with materials.

On the other hand, if you have all the wealth you needed but not the health. How you will enjoy the happiness? Furthermore, people also beileve that happiness is also linked with the family and friends so that you can enjoy with the loved ones. A clear example of this can be seen in the Christmas festival where indiviuals have the money but no one to celebrate with because of that they feel lonely.

In conclusion, it is clear that hapiness isn't only linked with the money. Some others crucial factors are also required for achieving the happiness such as health, family and friends. If both money and other factors managed effectively this can contribute to much hapiness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that influence it. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how money causes stress is fragmented, and the example regarding the Christmas festival is a bit underdeveloped. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your points with more detailed reasoning or specific, well-explained examples. The structure is logical, but the depth of analysis remains at a basic level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. There is a logical progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are used awkwardly, such as 'moreover' at the end of a sentence, and some referencing is slightly unclear. The flow between sentences is generally functional, but the use of cohesive devices could be more varied and natural to improve the overall cohesion of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'standard living', 'economy', and 'materials'. However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'beilef', 'hapiness', and 'indiviuals'. These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, you should focus on proofreading your work to correct these spelling mistakes and try to incorporate a wider range of less common lexical items to demonstrate more precision and flexibility in your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('A number of individuals holds') and sentence fragments ('For instance, if you don't earn enough...'). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency of the text. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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