Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The statement that occupying an abundance amount of wealth creates a huge effect on the happiness of the people and plays an important role. Where as on the contradictory, I opine that many believe that except having lot of money, there are plenty of ways where one can live happily.

There are more than thousands of advantage of having a lot of wealth. For intance, one can live stress-free without worrying about financial situation. By consuming expensive and healthy food helps the body to remain clean and healthy. Although, spending on leisure activites like renting a yatch, travelling in a VIP sector and attending costly soccer matches does play an significant role in one's happiness.

However, there are plenty of ways where a person can be happy with an average salary. Finding happiness does not strictly involve money. Many middle-class people tends to enjoy on a small family picnic more, rather than to spend thousand dollar just to watch a soccer match. To cite an example of Peter Hugh - Owner of a large bussiness, in his latest interview, he said that "despite being a millionare, I do not have time to spend my income for leisure activities". As a result, I believe that there are various kind of things that can make people happy by doing simple things which does not necessarily require a lot of money.

To keep in a nutshell, I strongly disagree that having a vast amount of money is one of the significant way to be happy. There are numerous of things like spending a holiday in their own village, going for a small trip with friends and having quality time with the people we love that one can do to be happy

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and alternative sources of happiness. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the discussion on 'healthy food' and 'leisure activities' is brief and lacks depth. The example of 'Peter Hugh' is a good attempt to support the argument, but the explanation of how this relates to the broader topic could be more analytical. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your points with more detailed reasoning and clearer links between the examples provided and the main argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a progression of ideas from the benefits of money to alternative sources of happiness. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Where as on the contradictory' and 'To keep in a nutshell'. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the transitions between sentences could be smoother to improve the flow of the argument. Referencing is generally clear, but some linking phrases feel forced rather than natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the message to be conveyed clearly. You use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'financial situation', 'leisure activities', and 'millionaire'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'occupying an abundance amount of wealth' (possessing a vast amount of wealth) and 'there are more than thousands of advantage' (there are thousands of advantages). These errors occasionally draw attention, though they do not impede overall communication. Expanding your range of collocations and refining word forms would improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is usually clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('Many middle-class people tends to enjoy') and article usage ('a significant way'). Additionally, there are issues with sentence construction, such as 'By consuming expensive and healthy food helps the body', which is grammatically incorrect. While you attempt complex structures, the frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tense would be highly beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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