Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people think that money plays an important role in your life to be happy . I will tell that how can someone be happy in his or her life by having enormous amount of many . I Also discuss that what are other things which can be reason of happiness .

To start with a person who has a lot of money for life has freedom of time .He does not have to worry about a secure job or waking up early to start his work whether he is tired or not . Moreover if a person is not worried about his future then more than half of his stress is already gone or in other words he is stress free . Most of people in today's world are concerned about their future . They think about their retirements . Everyone's know that survival is in human's behavior and for that survival money is very crucial . While they worry about today , they are also terrified about tomorrow. On the other hand if a man has enough money for survival of now and future then he can live happily now and ever .

In addition to it , other things which make folks happy are family and friends . Because human is a social animal he cannot live without family or friends . He always needs someone to share his sadness and happiness with someone . A man cannot enjoy himself he needs someone to enjoy with . Furthermore in bad times a person always needs someone's support to pass that time .

I think money buys time and time can be spent with friends and family . But if someone is working for money and has least time for his loved ones he is less happy or not happy at all as compared to one who has vast amount of money .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to fulfillment. The ideas are relevant, such as the freedom of time and the importance of social connections. However, the development is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the second paragraph where the concept of 'survival' and 'future' is restated multiple times without adding new depth. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more specific examples or nuanced arguments rather than circling back to the same points. The position is clear, but the overall structure of the argument could be more sophisticated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To start with', 'Moreover', and 'In addition to it', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. There are instances where referencing is slightly unclear, such as 'He always needs someone to share his sadness and happiness with someone', which is redundant. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main ideas. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents to improve the flow between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the message to be communicated clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'survival', 'stress-free', and 'social animal'. However, there are some awkward phrasings and word choice errors, such as 'enormous amount of many' (likely a typo for money) and 'folks', which is slightly informal for an IELTS essay. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'Everyone's know' (subject-verb agreement), 'I will tell that how can someone be' (word order), and missing articles or incorrect prepositions throughout. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent sentence construction will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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