Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In todays society everyone thinks that money plays a crucial rule in everyone's life. where many people think that having a lot of money is the only possible way to be happy, others says that people can stay happy with their friends and family as well as doing chanting, meditation. This essay will shed some light on all the reasons of this view.

On the one hand, many people believe that money makes them happy because they can afford expensive things. To elaborate more, people who have enough money they can choose to study abroad, they can travel wherever they want in any part of the world with their friends and family to spend quality time together which makes them feel happy and special. For Instance, many famous influencer and artists always stay happy, travel around the world, buy expensive phone like I-phone which is not easy to afford for a member of a middle class family.

On the other hand, several people think that there are numerous ways to be happy in life. The first and foremost reason is lifestyle. To explicit more, some people choose to have lifestyle that gives them happiness in their life despite having less money. Some people like to help others by paying their college fees, providing job, teaching practical skills and motivating others to be thankful for the resources they have. Furthermore, visiting religious and historical places not only makes life happy but also stress free. For instance, recent article in newspaper mentioned that famous Punjabi singer and actor Diljit Dosanjh always get happier whenever he helps other people and visiting historical and religious places.

In conclusion, although money make our life easy to buy expensive stuffs, travelling abroad, helping to accomplish dreams, however people opinions are differ some find happiness visiting tourist attraction and cultural places, providing help. Others, get happy when they buy expensive products.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and alternative sources of happiness. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of how money facilitates happiness relies on a few simple examples like travel and buying phones. Similarly, the section on alternative happiness could be more deeply explored; the mention of 'chanting' in the introduction is not followed up in the body paragraphs. While the response covers all requirements, the supporting arguments lack the depth and nuance required for a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'To explicit more,' which is grammatically incorrect. Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences within paragraphs can be repetitive, particularly in the second body paragraph where several sentences start with 'Some people.' Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. There are several instances of imprecise word choice or non-standard collocations, such as 'crucial rule' (instead of 'role'), 'To explicit more' (instead of 'To explain further'), and 'expensive stuffs' ('stuff' is uncountable). While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'influencer' and 'meditation,' the range is limited. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring correct word forms and collocations, avoiding informal or incorrect phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('others says,' 'money make,' 'people opinions are differ'), missing articles ('a member of a middle class family'), and awkward phrasing ('providing job'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of basic grammatical errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve the accuracy.

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