Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some individuals have a viewpoint that wealth brings happiness and prosperity in one's life. I think that money can bring happiness to a certain amount, but then you need other things to make you happy. In the passage below, I would like to talk about those things and how money can make you happy and what are some of the misconceptions about money.

To begin with, I would say that money do bring joy to life as you are able to fulfil your basic needs. Then you are able to fulfil the wishes of your loved ones, you are able to eat good food and take care of your heath. There is an interesting book that I read about on psychology of money. In the book, it was mentioned that is a certain amount till which your happiness increases in proportion to money. As your salary increases, your become happier. That number, differs from country to country, so I will not get into the number itself, but what I want to highlight is that once you achieve that threshold, then there is no significant increase in your happiness as your salary continues to rise. That is the time, that most people start looking towards other things for happiness. It could be time spent with family, or a hobby, hanging out with friends.

For example, in my case, I like to spend abundant time with my kid and my wife. That gives me tremendous happiness. Apart from this, every now and then I like to make plans with my friends. I sometimes also like to splurge on my family and that also brings a sense of joy to me.

To conclude, I would like to say that I do think that money brings happiness but there are plenty of other things that can make you happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money brings happiness and what other factors contribute to it. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention basic needs and the 'psychology of money' threshold, the explanation remains relatively superficial. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed examples or deeper analysis of why non-monetary factors, such as relationships or hobbies, are significant. The introduction is a bit repetitive, and the conclusion is quite brief. Expanding on the 'why' behind your arguments would strengthen the overall task response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different aspects of the prompt. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Apart from this', and 'To conclude' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition from the book reference to your personal experience is a bit abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'that number', 'those things') is always precise would enhance the cohesion of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some good phrases like 'fulfil your basic needs' and 'in proportion to money'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on simpler vocabulary. There are also minor collocation issues, such as 'take care of your heath' (should be 'health') and 'spend abundant time' (which sounds slightly unnatural; 'spend a significant amount of time' would be better). To improve, try to incorporate more precise, topic-specific vocabulary related to psychology or socio-economic concepts to demonstrate a wider lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist. For example, 'money do bring' should be 'money does bring', and 'your become happier' should be 'you become happier'. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary comma in 'That is the time, that most people...'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and refining your use of complex sentence structures will help you achieve greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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