Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In recent days, few people think that the reason behind happiness in life is having a lot of money. This essay will discuss how money can contribute to the dream life. However, there are some other factors can assist for making life more meaningful.
To begin with, financial wealth provide security and freedom in individuals life, not only they can buy whatever they wants but also with the aid of money, people get opportunities to plane their tours and vacations without considering a future stress. For instance, parents with a lot of financial wealth, they can spend millions on their children education, dreams, and personal growth, which make the life of children more optimistic and joyful. Eventually, they can enjoy different experiences without any future stress with assistance of wealth.
On the flip side of it, there are some other factors play significant role in the joyfulness.
Firstly, good family relationship and co-ordination can be major factors for the emotional support for the people during different phases of life, with emotional support or family support, people may face stress, anxiety, and depression. Moreover, ideal physical as well as mental health allows people to experience several activities such extreme sports, hiking, and favorite games. All these things can not be accomplished by money.
To sum up, while happiness plays a significant role in people life in the form of future security and they can buy or visit whatever they want, some other factors are equally crucial for ideal life such as good family bonding for emotional support and perfect mental as well as physical health to participate in different activities to enjoy thill in the life,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that lead to joy. The ideas are relevant and clearly presented. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the explanation of how money provides 'security and freedom' is a bit generic, and the section on family support could be more deeply explored with specific examples. The position is clear throughout, but the essay would benefit from more nuanced analysis to reach a higher band. Overall, it covers all parts of the task well enough to be considered a solid response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'On the flip side', and 'Moreover', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and sentence flow. For instance, the final sentence of the second paragraph is slightly repetitive. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion, which makes the essay easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'optimistic', 'co-ordination', and 'emotional support'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'assist for making' (should be 'assist in making') and 'thill in the life' (likely a typo for 'thrill'). The range is sufficient to communicate the message, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'financial wealth provide', 'whatever they wants') and article usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and comma splices. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the essay from reaching the 7.0 band. More attention to proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly improve the score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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