Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is believed by some individuals that if they have excess money that is the prominent factor of their happiness. Wealth not only makes people capable to buy their daily needs but also gives them freedom to buy anything whatever they want. Except money there are other factors which gives happiness to other people such as relationships and healthy life.

To begin with, people who think money makes people's live happier because it makes them capable to buy what ever they want. In addition to this some people have dreams to live luxury life and it's only possible if they have a lot of money. For example, a survey was conducted on Japan people which revealed that individuals who have enough money they were more happier than those who did not have.

On the other hand, there are other reasons also plays an important role to makes people happy which includes relationships. If person have good relationships with their family and with relatives that thing makes people happy. Furthermore, a good health is also consider one of the main reason of happy life. As mostly people face some kind of physically and mentally problems and they have a lot of money but they remain sad in their life regardless they have enough wealth. so if people have good health that is also a reason they are felling blessed in their life.

In conclusion, There no doubt money makes people happy and they can fulfill their dreams with this, but a healthy life and family support also are play important roles to feel them happy life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: how money contributes to happiness and other factors that influence it. The ideas are relevant, such as the ability to purchase necessities and the importance of relationships and health. However, the development is somewhat limited. The example regarding Japan is vague and lacks specific detail, and the explanation of why money leads to happiness remains at a surface level. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced arguments and more concrete, well-explained examples to support your points. The position is clear, but the overall depth of the discussion is somewhat restricted.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To begin with', 'In addition to this', and 'On the other hand', which help the flow of ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Except money there are other factors'. Additionally, there are instances where the progression of ideas feels a bit repetitive, particularly in the conclusion. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next will enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'luxurious life' and 'wealth', but the range is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'more happier' (which is grammatically incorrect) and 'felling blessed' instead of 'feeling blessed'. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of less common lexical items and pay closer attention to collocations to ensure your writing sounds more natural and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'if they have excess money that is the prominent factor', 'people who think money makes people's live happier', and 'a good health is also consider'. Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall clarity. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly verb forms and sentence construction, will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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